


You Are My Familiar

by princesshalo



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: A WHOLE LOT OF MUTUAL PINING, Alternate Universe, Bottom Louis, Dogs, Emotional Baggage, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, M/M, Mutual Pining, OT5 Friendship (One Direction), Pining, This is basically just fluff and pining and frustration and dog ownership idk, Wedding Fluff, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-06
Updated: 2019-10-06
Packaged: 2020-11-22 08:24:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 27,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20871161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princesshalo/pseuds/princesshalo
Summary: Louis loses his dog, and Harry takes in a stray. A whole year passes before they realize that it’s the same dog, and that kind of complicates things.





	You Are My Familiar

**Author's Note:**

> Uhhh so hi I clearly haven’t written anything Larry in ages, but this idea came to me out of the blue and before I knew it I had several thousand words that I couldn't bear let go to waste.
> 
> Inspired by my own little pup, who’s truly awakened the crazy dog lady lying dormant inside me. So if you don’t appreciate people talking about their pets like actual human children, then this story will probably annoy you. 
> 
> But for all my animal loving friends, I hope you enjoy. xx
> 
> *
> 
> Disclaimers: I only own the likenesses portrayed below, not the real life humans involved.  
Title from Bastille’s 4AM.  
Unbeta’d, so my apologies for any typos.
> 
> Warnings: My characters are all adults who like to drink, smoke, fuck, and curse. Rated for all of the above.  
*TW for a minor discussion of past drug addiction.
> 
> For those interested, [this](https://imgur.com/4H0CT0x) is my reference for the dog in this story.
> 
> * = Scene change  
*H/L = POV change

**SPRING**

“Lou, I’m kinda freaking out.” Zayn’s deep brown eyes stare hard into bright blue as Louis adjusts the bow tie around the collar of his crisp white tuxedo shirt.

He looks like a statue carved from a smooth block of marble, his olive skin contrasting against the upscale layers in various tones of white, professionally fitted to his thin frame. The dark hair styled on his head and trimmed along the sharp line of his jaw only adds more emphasis to the chosen black & white theme of the evening. Liam’s side in all black, Zayn’s in all white.

“On a scale of 1 to ‘abort mission’, where are we?” Louis uses the pronoun effortlessly, ready to either deliver the pep talk of the century or jump ship at a moment’s notice for his oldest, dearest friend. What kind of Best Man would he even be if he wasn’t so thoroughly prepared to follow every whim of the Husband-to-be?

“Uh, like, I love my fiancé and want nothing more than to be right here, right now, but also might empty my stomach on this tux if you don’t talk me off the ledge, quick.” Zayn decides.

Zayn being a master of stoicism, Louis wouldn’t have guessed.

“Z, it’s Liam.” Louis emphasizes. “You guys have been together so long the world wouldn’t even make sense if this wedding didn’t happen at some point in your lives.”

Zayn nods, his lips curling ever so slightly upwards.

“You could probably run into the other room right now and tell him you can’t go through with it, and he’d take your hand and run out the back door to your Caribbean fake honeymoon.” Louis says, “Fake because you wouldn’t actually be husbands since you ditched the ceremony, but Liam would be okay just sharing your presence until you’re both ready, or probably never even getting hitched if that’s what you both decided.”

“Liam wants a wedding.” Zayn argues.

“So do you!” Louis reminds him. “Which is why you agreed to this. And if you ever end up regretting a second of this _marriage_, then you can focus all that resentment towards me for pushing you down the aisle into your worst nightmare.”

“You know that wouldn’t happen.” Zayn says.

“And so do you.” Louis winks. “So take a deep breath and get ready to march into the arms of the love of your life, you lucky bastard.”

*

The ceremony is beautiful and classic, thanks to Liam’s more refined tastes. It’s set on a huge boathouse venue in Charlestown, Rhode Island, overlooking the rocky ocean side. Nothing exceedingly extravagant, but certainly not too modest either. The smell of the sea breeze rolling in makes for a nice touch, and it’s just one of the many things to cherish about their home in the tiniest state of them all.

Zayn probably would’ve gotten married in a tree house wearing his sleep clothes if he’d had his way, but he loves Liam far too much to not do absolutely everything he can to make him smile.

And boy, was Liam grinning as he stood across from Zayn, looking at him with a sparkle in his eyes amplified by the many twinkle lights surrounding the altar. Louis was honored to have one of the most VIP views of their vows, the crowd of loved ones both crying and smiling their support, and the big kiss, all in front of a magical sunset background.

Everyone was invited to the dining hall on the ship for the reception, but once the grooms parade themselves down the aisle and get to mingling with their guests, Louis realizes it’s going to take a while for the meals to come out, so he makes a beeline for the nearest bar.

In being one of the first to scope out the location, he’s also granted a single moment of solitude for the day. He scans the area from his corner at the far end of the room, keeping as low a profile as possible around the dozens of made up faces who recognize him from the ceremony and the years of friendship with the grooms.

Unfortunately, it ends up being a very brief reprieve before someone takes it upon themself to disturb him and his Whiskey Sour.

“Is there a tiny part of you that kind of hates weddings too?” The voice asks, slow and sweet as molasses, leaning slightly into Louis as it sips from the tiny stirring straws adorning its own glass.

It’s a voice he recognizes, though doesn’t belong to anybody he’d have ever expected would try to sneak a chat with him tonight. He and Harry do run in the same circle, close enough for Harry to have been a groomsman standing on the opposite side of the altar just under an hour ago, but they’ve only crossed paths a few times over the years, so it’s not as if they’ve got a ton of catching up to do.

Still, Louis is all charm today, so maybe it’s the persistent cheer of the evening that compels him to indulge.

Harry himself being quite the looker might also have something to do with it. Especially in his tux pants, with the clean black shirt rolled up at the sleeves to reveal a slew of tattoos on his sinewy arms, and the classic black bow tied around the neck to top off the after party look. The last time Louis saw him it was with a long mess of hair that may very well have inspired the trendy man bun at the time, but now it’s cut into a short chocolate swirl of curls that suits him almost as well as the slight stubble growing in around his lips.

“I actually quite enjoy the romance around them.” Louis answers honestly, “Certainly wouldn’t have pegged you for the cynical type, either.”

“Probably cause I’m a sap.” Harry chuckles, a bit wistfully. “I’m more so bothered by the fact that I thought I’d be settled down by like, 18 and now at 26 I’m still not even close.”

“Yikes.” Louis sips from his glass. “That’s young to already be dreaming of settling down.”

“I’ve always felt like I was meant to be domesticated.” Harry shrugs, looking at Louis with something playful in his eyes. He stirs his drink; a pink gin and tonic by the looks of it. He smells exactly like the drink looks; sugary and bubbly smooth.

“What were you dreaming of at 18?” He asks.

“Oh,” Louis chuckles, reddening inside.

At that age, he was too busy doing lines off some dude’s dick in a club bathroom stall to be dreaming about his future, but that’s not exactly appropriate to say to a near stranger. Never mind that his party days are so far behind him that domestication actually sounds like a pretty sweet deal now, in theory anyway.

“I recognize that look.” Harry smirks, revealing a sweet little pair of dimples on either side of his face. “Always knew you were a wild card.”

“Did you now?” Louis raises his brows. “What could Mr. Young Domestication possibly know about any of that?”

“I have my fair share of experience.” Harry grins, a big toothy thing that defibrillates Louis’s body to life.

“So then looking back now, with all that experience…” He starts, gesturing towards nothing in particular, “Would you have wanted to be stuck married to whoever you were with at 18?”

“No.” Harry laughs, “My God, no.”

“Exactly.” Louis joins in his glee, “Most of us don’t get so lucky as the Paynes.”

Met at 17, engaged at 23, married 3 years later. A classic love story if there ever was one.

“Did Zayn take Liam’s name then?” Harry perks up, his ears responding with the slightest of wiggles.

Louis has always noticed how attractive Harry is, but he’s also always been distracted by someone else whenever they’ve had the pleasure of meeting, so it’s the first time he’s paid thorough attention to Harry’s nice little Cupid’s Bow lips, plump and soft and easily kissable. His eyes are wide and green as the jungle canopy, with a kind of taunting innocence behind them that could probably convince the Pope to drop his holy lifestyle. And his arms are… well, big. And also quite distracting.

“It is the Malik-Payne wedding party, huh? I just thought Zayn Payne sounded nicer than Liam Malik.” Louis shrugs.

“Zayn Payne.” Harry chuckles. “Sounds like a wrestling name or something.”

“And in the left corner, weighing in at a dreadfully unassuming 120 pounds…” Louis puts on his very best announcer’s voice, reveling in Harry’s responding grin.

“Please welcome our newest competitor, let’s hope he makes it out alive…” Harry begins a drum roll on the counter as Louis helps him finish off the intro.

“Mister! Zayn! Paaaayne!”

The two of them burst into laughter, so deep and genuine that Harry has to reach out to steady himself with a hand on Louis’s shoulder. And that is just… is it maybe because Louis hasn’t been laid in a while that his stomach flutters at such a light touch? That he’s suddenly so intrigued by this man he’s never paid a second glance to all of a sudden?

Maybe the feeling is mutual. Harry quickly recoils, hesitating as he swirls his drink around, eyes searching Louis’s face. For what, Louis has no idea. But it’s not exactly uncommon for members of the wedding party to drink and laugh the night away until they end up going home together. And the way he clears his throat to begin another conversation suggests he’s not ready to search elsewhere yet, either.

“So what have you been up to, Louis?” Harry asks, looking down into his glass for a quick moment and then back up with a swallow of his throat.

“Oh, you know, life.” Louis shrugs, suddenly feeling like the most uninteresting person on Earth. “I, um. I think I was with Ryan the last time we talked? So, that’s been done for a while. I’ve just been really focused on my work.”

He takes a long gulp, swallowing his own awkwardness with it. Ryan has actually been gone for longer than his dog, and sweet Cinna feels more like a loss than that guy ever did. He doubts Harry cares to hear about the still gaping, Cavalier-shaped hole in his chest right now, though. Work and relationships are far more socially acceptable conversation.

“Sorry to hear that?” Harry checks his face for a hint of opposition. Louis chuckles.

“Very genuine.” He says, adding with a shrug, “Que sera sera, right?”

“It’s not a cliche for nothing.” Harry agrees, quickly shifting to other matters, “Interior design, right?”

“Yeah,” Louis nods, flattered that he even remembered. It must have been at least a year or two since they were in the same room together, let alone acknowledged the other’s existence.

“Business booming?” Harry asks.

“Oh, always.” He smiles, trying to muster the same attentiveness. “How’s the landscaping life treating you?”

“Ah, you remembered.” Harry beams.

“Of course, it’s basically like if my job were done outdoors, right?” Louis fakes like he was definitely 100% sure of his guess.

“Gardening? Not quite, but I’ll give you an A for effort.” Harry chuckles, “It’s busy season, so I’m just happy to be back at it. Nothing quite like getting your hands dirty to make something bloom.”

“I respectfully disagree, but I’ll toast to the passion.” Louis raises his glass, and they clink both together for a simultaneous swig.

The first few notes of Whitney Houston start blaring overhead, and Harry lights up in comparison to Louis’s audible annoyance.

“Are you groaning at Queen Whitney?” Harry is scandalized.

“This song is just overplayed, still, in the year 2019.” Louis rolls his eyes.

“Louis.” Harry puts on a very grave look all of a sudden. He chugs what’s left in his glass, sets it carefully down on the bar, and stretches his hand out, open-palmed, towards Louis. “Everybody wants to dance with somebody.”

Louis cannot help the burst of a laugh that escapes his lips, and despite that he wasn’t born with a dancing bone in his body, he can’t help but accept the offer either. He gulps the rest of his drink and places his hand in Harry’s, involuntarily taking note of its size compared to his own, and follows Harry’s lead out onto the dance floor.

“Quick disclaimer, I am an atrocious dancer!” Louis has to raise his voice to be heard over the music and the chattering crowd that begins to form around them.

“It’s okay, me too!” Harry laughs, “The trick is to not care about making a fool of yourself.”

“Clearly!” Louis laughs along with him, watching as he swings his arms like a father determined to embarrass his daughter at prom.

“Oh, come on!” Harry says, “Get into it! Let loose!”

Louis is so endeared that his body acts without consulting his mind, jumping into jumbled step alongside this loopy, lanky, loser. Harry reaches forward to cup Louis’s right hand and slide the other around his waist, pulling him into an attempt to match their feet with each other’s. The way his heart crashes against his rib cage at their proximity feels so juvenile, so uncharted, like it’s the first ounce of attention he’s ever gotten from a boy all over again.

He never expected to meet somebody at his best friend’s wedding, but if the night persists, he may just end up in La La Land.

Two songs later, they’re headed back towards the bar, and then to meet the men of the hour at their dinner table for a bite and a bit of banter.

“You guys seem to be getting along well.” Liam notices, interrupting their laugh about one of his aunts who’s already sloshed before 7pm. He shares a very pointed look with Harry that causes a subtle pink to spring up onto his cheeks. So subtle that Louis probably wouldn’t have even noticed if he were able to take his eyes off those cheeks for even a fraction of a second.

“So do you and… I’m sorry, what’s your name again?” Harry asks towards Zayn, completely deadpanned for maximum humor.

Liam rolls his eyes, Zayn cracks a smile, and Louis along with their longtime friend Niall indulge him with a laugh.

It may have something to do with the four drinks Louis has downed, but by the time their plates are cleared, he finds himself utterly enchanted by Harry Styles. This random friend of a friend who Louis had never paid more than a second glance to, turns out to be the most fun he’s had in months. And they haven’t even gotten to the naked part of the night yet.

And Louis is really hoping there’s going to be a naked part of the night.

Harry’s proven himself a worthy alcoholic adversary who’s definitely looking at Louis with the same glitter in his eyes and slickness on his lips, and his hands are finding too many non-essential reasons to touch Louis’s skin, arms, hair, the curve of his back, and Louis is finding zero essential reasons to deter him.

Harry even follows him outside for a cigarette break later on, despite that he doesn’t smoke himself.

“I don’t mind it at all, though.” Harry says as he takes a deep breath of the cool, night air into his lungs. “I’ve always found it kind of… hot. In a dirty, sexy kind of way.”

Louis laughs, flicking the ash from the tip over the edge of the deck, into the deep black ocean below. It’s just the two of them and a billion stars outside, accompanied only by the faint sounds of music and chatter floating through the glass doors of the dwindling crowd in the venue before them.

“You think I’m hot then?” Louis teases, leaning his bent arms back against the wood railing. “In a dirty, sexy kind of way?”

Harry’s lips fight to hold in a smile much larger than the one he lets slip through.

“I do.” He says, drama in his voice, alluring to the wedding theme of the night. Louis would probably marry him right on the spot if he were enough of a nutcase to ask such a thing.

Louis sucks down a drag of smoke, exhaling slow to stall the delicious moment and steady his rapid heart.

“In what way do you think I’m hot?” Harry prods, the fighting smile bursting into a full on cheeky grin.

Louis returns the playful eyes, deliberating for a short moment before deciding, “A goofy, yet sort of rugged way.”

“Goofy?” Harry’s jaw drops in fake offense. “I am a comedic genius.”

“An apprentice, maybe.” Louis says, “Sometimes you have jokes. Other times, I suspect people are laughing because you’re absolutely ridiculous.”

“I resent that.” Harry crosses his arms of his chest, pouting in that cute but rugged way. Louis can see the way his flexed arms strain against the fabric of his dress shirt.

“You do not. You love the attention.” Louis calls him out.

Harry can’t even pretend to deny it. Instead, his probably equally buzzed brain says, “I do enjoy having your attention.”

Louis’s heart could burst. He is so going to fall into bed with this adorable hunk of a man tonight.

“You’re drunk.” He laughs, completely downplaying his reddening skin for the sake of coyness.

“It’s a wedding.” Harry reminds him. “Are you not?”

“Gotta love an open bar.” Louis agrees, snuffing out his cig early and relishing the dizzying head rush it supplied.

Fueled by Harry’s obvious flirting, Louis uses the surge of confidence to grab his hand and lead him back inside.

“You know, Lou…” Harry has to talk a bit louder to be heard over the noise indoors, and that only makes it more exciting when he says, “I only live about 10 minutes down the road.”

“Oh?” Louis gulps in his head, not his actual throat. He thinks. “Wouldn’t have pegged you for a seaside socialite either.”

“Business is good by the coast. People pour a lot into their yards in the spirit of neighborly competition.” Harry shrugs. “Not the point, though.”

Louis definitely didn’t miss the point.

“Maybe one more for good measure, then?” He hasn’t been nervous to go home with a man since… well, he’s struggling to even remember when the opportunity even presented itself.

The last year or so of his life has passed in a blur of blueprints and blues. He still misses his lost dog all the time, and the person he was with her in it. He used to be happy and fun. He used to go outside, he used to work out, he used to have drinks, have sex, have love, have friends. He used to have a life. Now he just has work.

“Trying to take advantage of me?” Harry teases, bringing him back to the moment. The fun moment. A pretty little slice of the man he used to be.

“I’m not sure it works that way if you’re the one inviting me over.” He chuckles, nerves suddenly dissolving as quickly as they arose.

“It can work however way you want it.” The firm tone of Harry’s voice confirms he’s not messing around, and that might be the biggest contributor to the tightening of Louis’s pants at the moment.

“Jesus,” He breathes, shuffling his way towards the bar again.

“You can call me Harry.” The grin is somehow visible in his voice.

Of course he wants to go home with this guy. He couldn’t think of a more perfect end to this near perfect night.

“A glittering example of that ridiculous humor I was referring to.” He rolls his eyes.

“Seems to be working on you, though.” Harry notices.

The next drink is a double shot. More Whiskey for him, some fruity clear liquor mix for Harry. The only thing Louis is really focused on at this point is the flutter in his belly at the thought of Harry’s hands all over him. His tongue in places it would be foul to mention out loud. The pressure of his cock filling Louis’s mouth and the motion of taking it from behind. He sincerely hopes he can’t walk right tomorrow morning.

Harry gets an Uber and rests his hand on Louis’s knee in the backseat, moving gradually up and down his thigh the whole way. He palms him through his pants and Louis has to pretend he isn’t ready to cum right there in the back of this stranger’s car, has to keep a straight face, has to act like Harry’s smirk isn’t loud enough for the both of them.

The blur of night beyond the car windows ends quicker than Louis expected, and he doesn’t get a good look at the outside of Harry’s home, but it’s a decent size and there’s wooden stairs leading up to a big porch with the distant sound of waves crashing in the backyard.

The key twists and they both stumble in and the lights come on too bright, blinding, Louis has to squint and Harry’s saying something; it takes his brain a second to adjust.

“Sorry, I should’ve mentioned I have a dog. You’re not allergic, right? Or just afraid? Because I’m afraid it won’t work out in that case.” His voice is light and teasing, but Louis’s eyes are stuck on the animal frozen in her tracks, staring him down in shock as if it’s been nearly a year since their last encounter.

She’s small and half white, half shimmery cinnamon colored on both sides of her face and in large random splotches on her body. Her fur is long around her legs and tail, but appropriately trimmed, with her big floppy ears hanging on either side of her droopy snout. And those wide, heart melting eyes that clench his throat shut and instantly bring the stinging tears to the back of his own.

“I do love her quite a bit. She’s a sweetheart, smart as fuck, and loves everyone she meets.” Harry’s rambling, and Louis feels like he might actually start sobbing as recognition clicks on the dog’s little face and she comes bounding towards him.

*H

Ginger tackles Louis to the ground before Harry can even fix his mouth to warn her not to. He’s never seen anything like it; she’s only about a foot tall, and yet she leaps four times that into the air, landing in Louis’s outstretched arms, causing him to lose his balance and fall to his bum on the hardwood floor beneath.

“Ginger, no!” Harry shouts, reflexively lunging forward in attempt to pull her off. “My God, Louis, I’m so sorry, she’s never done that before!”

In Harry’s drunken panic, it takes him a bit longer to notice that Louis doesn’t seem to mind. At all. In fact, he’s smiling, giggling even, and ruffling her all over, and calling her a different name?

“Cinna! Oh, Cinnabon, my sweet girl!” His voice sounds on the verge of tears. “Oh, I thought I’d never see you again! Do you have any idea how much I’ve missed you?”

“Again?” Harry asks, his brain working overtime to process Louis’s choice of words, “Missed you?”

He did find his dog wandering along the shore behind his house one day, but he put up so many signs and ads that after a couple months of searching he just figured the owner didn’t want her anymore. Or couldn’t afford her, but for whatever reason wasn’t coming to claim her. He got used to the idea of calling the dog his own.

What are the chances that some random guy he connected with on the night of a friend’s wedding would be that same dog’s rightful owner? Maybe Louis slipped something into his drink while he wasn’t looking and now he was totally tripping out.

But that couldn’t be true, because Harry had hardly been able to take his eyes off Louis all night.

“Cinna, my good girl, I love you so much,” Louis is sobbing now, and Ginger’s excitement has settled only slightly. Certainly not so much that she stops licking his face or his now fully flowing tears in the process. She’s busy trying to jump higher on him somehow, her dog brain unable to comprehend that there’s nowhere else to go but exactly where she landed in Louis’s arms.

Harry doesn’t know what the appropriate reaction is in such a situation, but it seems like such a private moment that he feels like maybe he should look away. He doesn’t though; so flabbergasted by the encounter that he just sort of awkwardly stares and waits for it to end.

Louis is quite beautiful, and Harry loves his dog more than anything, and he’s still somewhat riding a wave of euphoria from the drinks and general high spirits of the night, so the scene is heartwarming to say the least.

“This is the craziest thing.” Louis finally says once he’s calmed down, rubbing the dog who’s cuddled herself into a jittery pile on his lap. The tears have dried on his skin, but his eyes are still watery when he explains, “It probably sounds crazy, but this is my dog, Harry. She got away when she was with her walker and I—I really thought she was gone forever.”

“Not that crazy.” Harry says, half smiling as he reaches down to wipe away the salty stains on Louis’s cheeks. “I mean, I obviously knew she had a previous owner. I just assumed she’d been abandoned.”

“I would never!” Louis practically yells. “I looked for her for months. I put up signs, I reached out to shelters, searched on Craigslist even.”

“Craigslist!” Harry says, “The one place I didn’t think to cover. I honestly didn’t think it even still existed.”

Louis laughs, a bright, tinkly thing that lights up the room and Harry’s whole world.

“I’m just so… I can’t even describe what this feels like. Happy doesn’t do it justice at all.” Louis is beaming, looking down into her eyes with such love it makes Harry’s heart melt. Louis reaches for his own eyes now, brushing away the drops that still persist despite his efforts.

“I’m not usually such a baby, I swear.” He laughs.

“You missed your baby.” Harry dismisses, “No judgement here at all.”

“Still think I’m hot?” Louis smirks up at him.

“Hotter.” Harry confirms, “I did always have a thing for dads.”

Louis is just a little ball of laughter and joy right now. It honestly is one of the most adorable things he’s ever seen, save for the dog he’s cradling in his lap.

“You did a great job with her.” Harry says, petting her between the ears. “I hardly had to train her, except to learn the tools of my trade.”

“What now?” Louis asks.

“I take her to work with me when my clients are dog-friendly.” Harry explains. “She knows trowel, fork, shears, and even the difference between soil and mulch. And she loves to dig the holes for me to plant. She’s my favorite little helper.”

“That is so fucking cute.” Louis gushes, ruffling her floppy ears. “I knew she was a smartie pants.”

“The vet said she only looked a couple years old when I first brought her.” Harry says, “Is that true?”

“May 11th, 2017.” Louis confirms.

“A Taurus.” He and Harry both say at the same time, locking eyes for a shared grin.

“I’m kinda glad I got to miss the puppy days.” Harry says, “Though I can only imagine how much cuter she was back then.”

“The sweetest little angel.” Louis beams, “I still have some pics if you want to see.”

“Absolutely, yes!”

Since he feared he would never see her again, he only kept a few in his phone for the times he really wanted to torture himself with the ache.

He has a video of her tiny paws splashing around in the tub from her first bath, one of her covered in mud from her first time off leash at the dog park, and a few different angles of her sleeping, sitting next to him in the car, and waiting for belly rubs on her back with her tongue lolled to the side like she loves to do.

“She’s basically still a puppy.” Harry laughs, “She’s just as bouncy and cuddly as ever, maybe only slightly bigger and less unruly.”

“She’s really the ideal dog.” Louis agrees, “Still small and adorable, but with all the smarts of a grown pup.”

Harry pulls out his own phone to show him the Instagram page he made her.

“God, Harry. You didn’t.” Louis laughs, rolling his eyes, but still scrolling through the feed to see what he’s been missing.

The majority are pictures of her splashing along the beach, posing with one of the million different bows and bandannas Harry’s bought her since adoption, or simply sleeping next to him in bed or on his lap.

“GingerSpicePup,” Louis reads her username out loud, “You named her after a Spice Girl?”

“You named her after a cinnamon bun franchise.” Harry counters.

“She reminds me of one.” Louis defends, petting the curled lump of auburn fur nestled in his lap for emphasis.

“Well, she reminded me of the best girl band to ever exist.” Harry says. The pigmented part of her fur is reminiscent of gingerbread, which is only a skip away from Ginger Spice.

“She’s so perfect.” Louis sighs, opening picture after picture of her smiling, rolling over, running across the beach, sitting on the grass, digging through flowers, looking through the camera like she’d do absolutely anything for the person behind it. “I missed her so much.”

Seeing them together slowly crumbles Harry’s heart into pieces, because he realizes it means his life with Ginger has come to an end. Though the instinctually selfish part of his human nature protests the idea of ever just handing her over to somebody else, he wouldn’t be able to do that to Louis. Or anyone, for that matter. Now that he knows who her rightful owner is, he also knows that the only respectable thing to do would be to send her home where she belongs.

But boy, is he going to miss having her around.

*

Harry wakes up on his couch to a quiet house, which immediately strikes him as odd. Ginger usually acts as his alarm, either by tonguing his face into consciousness or scratching at the back door to be let out.

The last thing he remembers is sitting next to Louis, tea warmed mugs clutched between their hands, their beloved dog snoozing between them with her head in Louis’s lap and her bum resting on Harry’s. Louis had leaned his head on Harry’s shoulder as they drifted off during a chat about childhoods, hometowns, and how content they both are in their respective careers and the direction their lives are heading. It was all very adult, very easy, and very comforting.

Both mugs were now sat on the coffee table before him, and Harry’s otherwise cozy home suddenly felt like the chilled liquid remnants leftover from the night before.

“Louis?” He calls, expecting nothing but silence in return.

“Ginger?” He tries next, feeling his stomach drop at the absence of a responding click clack of her nails across the hardwood.

Still holding out hope that Louis would have a bit more kindness in his heart than to steal his dog back in the middle of the night and ditch Harry without even a last goodbye, he gets up to look out the window to the empty beach below.

First comes the panic, then the heartbreak, then the betrayal, and finally the anger. Rage. Harry is absolutely furious.

What was Louis thinking? That Harry would try to keep Ginger for his own, knowing that she belonged to Louis? Did he really think that little of him? Did Louis assume he was stupid enough to pull something like that, even though Louis now knew exactly where his dog could be found, seeing as Harry invited him inside and treated him like a trusted guest? Did the connection Harry thought they’d finally formed last night mean so little to Louis that he’d sabotage it so easily and without a second thought?

Harry paces the floor, seeing red, trying to figure out his next move. He can’t just let Louis get away with it, but really what is there for him to do?

He could go take the dog back, but she does still belong with her owner, so that would be too extremely awful of him. Despite how completely barbaric Louis had acted, Harry never wanted to keep Ginger at the expense of Louis’s pain, and he couldn’t possibly feel any lower at the fact that Louis clearly didn’t show him the same respect.

What he really wanted was to make Louis understand that what he’d done was a despicable thing that Harry would never have done to him, had the situation been reversed.

After a handful of minutes pass and the initial burst of fury subdues into a more or less level head, Harry calls Liam.

It goes to voicemail several times before he picks up.

“Good God, Harry, what could be such an emergency that you’d have to bother me on the most important vacation of my life?” Liam’s grumpy voice answers, and it’s only in that moment that Harry remembers his friend is a newlywed departing for a cruise to the beaches of Bermuda for the next two weeks.

“Louis stole Ginger from me.” Harry blurts, “I mean, she was his dog, technically, but he took her from my house and I’m fucking fuming about it.”

“So you two did end up leaving together.” He can hear the smirk in Liam’s voice. He’s known about Harry’s little crush on Louis since the first time they met, but that is so far beside the point.

“Yeah, and apparently it’s one of the worst ideas I’ve ever had.” Harry says.

“Dramatic.” Liam says, “Couldn’t have been that bad, you looked cute as hell last night.”

“That was before he scammed his way into my home and took my dog, Liam! Focus!” Harry fumes.

“Wait, so Ginge is the same dog Louis lost a while back?” Liam finally registers. “Zayn had mentioned she looked similar before, but that’s so wild! Makes this all into like, a fateful encounter.”

“She was mine for the past year! I think I deserve at least a moment to let her go.” Harry chooses to ignore Liam’s allusion to the idea that this could have been meant to happen in any way, shape, or form. Stealing a person’s dog does not make anything near a promising premise to a fairy tale love story.

“Yeah, this does complicate things.” Liam agrees.

“Just give me his number so I can give him a piece of my mind.” Harry demands.

“I’m afraid I don’t have it.” Liam says, “We’re not that close, but let me ask Z.”

There’s some shuffling in the back and a conversation too far away for Harry to decipher. They talk for a bit longer than he would expect, but eventually Liam is back on the line.

“He thinks you should go bug him in person if you want to talk.” Liam says, “He said Louis doesn’t answer calls from random numbers and there’s double no way he’d pick up if he knew it was you, so texting probably won’t accomplish anything either.”

“But showing up on his doorstep wouldn’t get me elevated to complete stalker status?” Harry asks.

“You’re a concerned parent.” Liam rationalizes, “He should have known you wouldn’t just let it slide. Even Z is disappointed in him. He gave me the address and immediately started angry texting on your behalf.”

Harry nods, feeling slightly better to have the support of Louis’s best friend on his side too.

“Please express my undying gratitude to him for me.” Harry says, “And send it my way as soon as we hang up.”

“Gotcha.” Liam confirms, “Good luck and let me know how it goes.”

“Gotcha.” Harry repeats, “Good luck and let me know how all the hot Honeymoon sex goes.”

“Goodbye, Harry!” Liam laughs, clicking the line into dead air.

*L

Louis is out at his favorite park near his apartment in central Providence, miles away from Harry’s seaside home, thanking whatever higher power there is for such a perfect, sunshiny spring day. He’s fully prepared to spend its entirety running around, playing fetch, and generally enjoying the outdoors with the long lost love of his life.

India Point is a classic for its waterfront location along the bay that stretches the length of it. There’s plenty of grassy expanse for Cinna to run and sniff to her heart’s content, a nice lengthy sidewalk for them to walk along together, and a steady breeze blowing in from the water to keep them cool in the blazing sun.

It’s like the past year apart never even happened. She’s as in synch with him as ever; bounding towards him with that sweet, dopey smile he remembers, jumping up on his legs with unmatched excitement, and showering him in all the puppy kisses he’s been longing for. She’s not technically a puppy anymore, but she’ll always be his little baby.

He’s only slightly bothered by the fact that Harry is probably panicking without her. Without Louis. Escaping behind Harry’s back may not have been his proudest moment, but they’d only really gotten to know each other for one night and Harry couldn’t be fully trusted to just hand over his dog without a fight. And Louis couldn’t imagine going on about his everyday life without her now that he was sure she was alive and well, so he did what had to be done.

He’s laying in the grass with her by his side when he receives a wordy text from Zayn, which is completely out of character for him.

_Shame on you, Lou._

Louis’s stomach drops. Harry tattled on him? Weak.

Zayn’s moral compass doesn’t always point North, but he’s never failed to give Louis an honest look at himself when he needs it, and Louis already knows what he did was wrong, so he can predict the gist of what follows.

_I know how much you’ve missed Cinna, but you had no right to take her away from the person who’s also cared about her in the time you two were apart. She could have been left sad and alone in the streets if Harry hadn’t given her a loving home. Not to mention if anyone else had found her, what are the chances you’d have ever seen her again?_

He’s making some points, but Louis was trying his best to avoid thinking about them. Just because Harry had taken care of her while he couldn’t, did that mean she was Harry’s dog now, too? That didn’t seem fair. What would that mean going forward, that Louis would have to share custody of his own dog? That seemed even more unfair when he just got her back. He already feels like he missed out on so much, and now he’d have to miss out even more?

He pets the soft fur between her ears while he reads on.

_You should be grateful, and this how you repay him? It’s fucking low and we both know you’re better than that. Think about how Harry felt when he realized she was gone. Remember how you felt when YOU realized she was gone._

Unbelievably sad and fucking destroyed inside. Helpless and utterly alone. Like he’d never love another animal or person ever again.

_You already know you should apologize and try to work something out between you guys, but I guess you need to hear it from someone else. So, you’re welcome. Harry will probably come by to have a chat with you. I hope you’ll try to see where he’s coming from._

Zayn is right, and he wouldn’t be saying any of it if he didn’t care so much about Louis. He has a way of making him face the things he tries to run from, and although Louis hates to admit it, he wouldn’t be half the man he is today without his dearest friend’s influence.

_Can’t I just wire him some reward money and be done with it?_ Louis texts back.

If it was just some stranger who found his dog, maybe that would be okay. He would still feel a little bad about separating the two of them after so long, but would ultimately claim the rights to his dog.

But it’s not just some stranger, it’s Harry. A trusted friend of his trusted friends. A man he would’ve slept with and even called back the next day, if not for the dog surprise ruining the moment.

He did feel some kind of closeness to the guy, even after only one night of mingling.

He did still sort of want to see him again.

_If you want to be a dick about it, sure._ Zayn says.

_Since when did being respectable people with morals and stuff become the goal, anyway?_ Louis whines.

_Since adulthood, Lou! Stop being such a shit head._ Zayn scolds.

If anything could make him feel like one, it’s when Zayn starts lecturing like a disappointed parent.

_Whatever, mom. It’s not a phase, this is who I am_. Louis jokes.

Zayn texts back with an eye roll and a laughing emoji, so Louis knows that objectively everything is okay. He just has to make things right with Harry later on. And Louis isn’t so dense to believe he’d never have to see him again, but he hoped not so soon.

He lays in the grass for a while longer, till Cinna wakes up from her nap and wags her tail for more play. He tires her out once more and makes sure she does her business one last time before finally taking her home in the late afternoon.

The sun is just starting to set when he gets home, to find Harry waiting in his car outside of Louis’s building. It’s not lost on him that the dude drives a mini SUV that he’d imagine a better fit for a soccer mom than a young bachelor. Louis still finds him so endearing, even in the light of a new day, alcoholic haze fully dissolved.

Harry gets out as soon as he sees the two of them down the street and simply stands in front of the door with his arms crossed. He’s kept it simple today, donning a plain white tee and some leg hugging jeans, with neon green trainers on his feet. He’s either decided not to fix his bed head from the night before, or that’s just how he likes to keep it styled.

Cinna goes crazy when she notices him, yanking against her leash and tangling herself up in a frenzy. That makes it harder for Louis to pretend she hasn’t grown to love Harry too, and it’s a real bummer because it means that doing what’s best for her will have to include Harry to some extent.

Louis is fully aware that he’s being a selfish baby about it, but getting over it is easier said than done.

Harry greets Cinna as if nothing was off between him and her rightful father, kneeling down to her level to smother her in love and kisses. To be fair, she can’t even begin to understand such complex human problems, so Louis can’t even blame her for just being happy to see him.

“Hi sweet girl, did you miss me? I missed you!” Harry coos, ruffling her ears and petting her all over. “I love you so much, yes I do, yes I do!”

“You must have taken good care of her.” Louis observes, more for himself to hear it out loud than for Harry to respond to.

“What about me makes you think I wouldn’t have?” Harry asks from the ground, still fluffing her up, refusing to look up at Louis directly when he speaks.

“Nothing.” Louis shrugs, “I just… didn’t want to believe that someone else could love her more than me, I guess.”

“It’s not a competition.” Harry says.

“Kinda feels like one.” Louis admits.

“How so?” Harry graces him with the gaze of his green eyes now, though not with a peaceful expression. “She clearly missed you, Louis. The way she greeted you last night is not how she reacts to strangers.”

“I know.” Louis sighs. “I’m just having trouble with the idea that I may not be her favorite person anymore.”

“Well, that’s dumb. And selfish.” Harry says.

“I know.” Louis sighs again. He grabs for his keys to unlock the door to his building, pushing it wide open.

“Come up.” He says, reaching a hand down for Harry to steady himself with as he pulls him to a stand.

*H

“You’re… successful.” Harry says, scanning Louis’s apartment for how clean and pristine everything looks, from the bright and open floor plan to the seemingly untouched modern furniture, the glossy hardwood floors and fancy rugs laid over them, the giant screen tv and sleek, modern kitchen design.

Louis chuckles, “Okay, Mr. Charlestown Beach House.”

“My parents own the property.” Harry says. “I’m basically just a full time house sitter.”

“How many of these prime real estate properties do your parents own?” Louis calls from the kitchen as he reaches for the wine glasses.

“Irrelevant.” Harry zips his lips. “I’m a lowly gardener who drew a lucky hand at birth.”

“Lowly.” Louis scoffs, pouring out a couple of drinks and carrying them over to a statued Harry in the living room. “Says the one who had to chase down a dirty dog thief today.”

Harry considers that for a moment, accepting the glass that’s handed to him. He takes a calculated sip, staring Louis down the whole time he swishes it around his mouth, and only when he swallows does he finally say, “You’re right, I am a better person than you.”

Louis laughs, settling in on his couch, crossing his legs Indian style and patting the cushion in front of him. Cinna comes over and hops up, wiggling her little bum and kissing his face before curling up in his lap. Harry follows behind, sitting sideways to face his body to Louis as he leans against the back couch cushions.

He stares out at the sunset over the city skyline, thanks to the window that spans the length of the otherwise bricked in wall behind the giant screen tv. The room is beginning to glow a warm orange, highlighting the natural golden tint of Louis’s skin.

“I’m sorry for running off this morning.” The apology breaks Harry out of his trance.

“With Ginger.” Harry adds, reaching forward to scratch between her ears. “You were free to leave if you wanted, but taking her with you is what hurt.”

“Ouch, but fair.” Louis tips his glass to touch the crimson liquid to his lips. “I panicked. I hadn’t seen her in so long, and I was afraid you’d try to keep her from me. It’s no excuse, but I want you to understand that it wasn’t done with malicious intent. It was done to… protect myself.”

“Well, I’m sorry you think of me that way.” Harry says, still abrasive from the assumption that he would ever try to keep them apart. “I had no plans to keep her away from you. I only hoped you would let me continue to see her…” _And you_, is what he doesn’t add.

Louis sighs, looking down into his glass, swirling the liquid to stall a bit more.

“I will need a sitter, you know.” He finally says.

Harry didn’t realize he’d been holding his breath until it gusts out of his lungs.

“I work full time, so I can’t be around most of the day.” Louis goes on, “And if I have to go on a trip, or whatever. I’ll need someone trustworthy, not like the last one I left her with.”

“The girl who let her get away.” Harry recalls the story from last night. It wasn’t Louis’s own irresponsibility that she got out, but the inexperienced walker he hired who couldn’t keep her properly leashed in unfamiliar areas.

“You’d obviously fight with your life to keep her safe.” Louis takes a big swig this time.

“I’ll get to see her every day?” Harry asks, still not entirely trusting. His schedule is flexible and he rarely works in an office, so the arrangement would be kind of perfect if Louis is willing to go through with it.

Liam’s voice rings in his ears; _fateful encounter_.

Louis nods. “She’d be yours during the day and mine in the evening. Weekends we’ll share.”

“That’s extremely generous for someone who was so ready to keep her all to himself.” Harry points out.

“There’s the implied stipulation that sharing weekends means…” Louis hesitates, averting his eyes to finish with, “More of this.”

“You want to see more of me?” Try as he might, Harry can’t stop the grin that slowly stretches across his face.

“Last night was kind of fun, no?” Louis asks, looking up from underneath those sinfully long lashes of his.

Powerless to respond in a way that doesn’t make him sound anything short of thirsty as fuck, Harry just nods in acknowledgement.

“Passing her off like a couple of divorced parents.” He chuckles, tossing his own glass back with a quick swallow. “I’m in.”

“Yay for divorce!” Louis cheers, and they share a laugh.

“But how can I really trust that you won’t change your mind, pack up and leave town as soon as I’m out of your hair tonight? You do have a track record.” Some part of Harry is still tentative to believe he not only gets to sort of keep his dog, but also that Louis wants to see him on a regular basis, enough to offer up shared custody of his dog to be able to do so. That’s fucking big, for someone he’s been lusting after for years. It just seems too good to be true. 

“Harold, I made a mistake. I realize that now.” Louis says, although he rolls his eyes as if it’s a nuisance to acknowledge it out loud. “I should be grateful that she never had to go without, because of you.”

“Are you?” Harry asks. That doesn’t sound like gratitude to him.

“Yes! Which is why I’m making the gracious offer to share the absolute love of my life with you.” He assures, “For that, you should be grateful. I could’ve just thrown you some reward money and called it even.”

“I suppose you’re right.” Harry agrees. He pretends to think it over for just a moment longer, stroking his chin in thought before stretching his arm out for a handshake.

“Ok, deal.” He and Louis shake on it.

“She whined for you when we left this morning, you know.” Louis says before taking another sip, “I had to carry her to my car to get her off your front step.”

Harry beams, his whole heart melting as he pets her soft, sleeping head. He’s beyond honored that he’s made such a lasting impact on his tiny little angel. Their tiny little angel.

“I can’t tell you how much this means to me, Louis.” Harry says, earnestly.

“Yeah, yeah, enough with the sappy stuff.” Louis chugs the rest of his glass, the gulp visible in his throat. “Let me make you dinner for your troubles.”

“You cook?” Harry perks up.

“I can make one thing well.” Louis chuckles, carefully moving Ginger’s limp body off his lap to get up and head towards the kitchen. She lifts her head to follow him with wide, curious eyes.

“So what’s on the menu then?” Harry stretches his neck over the back of the couch to see what he’s up to.

“Chicken stuffed with mozzarella, wrapped in parma ham and a side of homemade mash.” Louis says, bending over to grab the pans from the bottom cabinet. Just overnight, Harry had forgotten what a nice bum he has, maybe just assumed his wedding pants were that expertly fitted.

“Sounds promising for somebody who can’t actually cook.” Harry laughs. “Do you need a hand? Or perhaps… a hand?”

It takes Louis a moment to catch the innuendo in his voice, and he turns around to give Harry a look when he does.

“No thank you on the kitchen help.” He says, “But keep playing your cards right and I might take you up on the other offer later.”

“Sweet.” Harry grins.

**SUMMER**

*L

Weeks turn into months and pass with surprising harmony. Harry starts his day later to miss rush hour into the city, usually arriving to Louis’s around 10am. He takes Cinna out to do her business, and then loads her in the car to hang out while he works in the surrounding areas.

He sends regular updates through the day, so Louis’s phone begins to fill up again with media of her dirt-covered nose, lying in the flowers, sitting for treats, jumping, cuddling, rolling onto her back for playtime, and generally being the most adorable being to ever exist.

Louis takes over in the evenings and the days he works from home, filling his breaks with park time and play time and love time.

All feels right with his world again. Maybe even better than ever, because he doesn’t have to worry about her when he’s out, knowing she’s safe and well looked after with Harry.

Weekends are usually spent together as a family, with Louis bringing her down to the coast for some quality beach time. She loves to splash around on the shore and swim to them in shallow waters, and Louis’s heart feels as warm as the sun on their bare skin in the peak of summer.

“Stuffies and Del’s for lunch?” Harry asks as they walk down the shore with their daughter trotting happily behind.

“You are speaking my language.” Louis agrees, tummy rumbling in anticipation.

He’s just returned from a two-day business trip to Hartford, so he’s feeling extra grateful for his home state and the life he’s created in it. Sometimes he felt like Harry could anticipate his needs without ever having to articulate them, and that was just one of the many things Louis had come to like about him.

Another was that he looked more delicious than their lunch could ever be, with or without clothing, although the blazing heat of the afternoon was tilting his favor towards the shirtless look. Harry had a whole mess of tattoos scattered from arm to arm and everywhere in between, a plethora of chaotic art much like he’d learned Harry himself was.

“This place really is a hidden gem.” Louis sighs, wistfully staring out over the ocean skyline and definitely not at Harry’s silhouette against it. “Every time I leave, I’m just always so glad to be back home.”

“Definitely underrated.” Harry agrees, “I never thought I’d end up falling in love with tiny little Rhode Island, of all the places I’ve seen, but now I can’t imagine living anywhere else.”

“Especially in the summer.” Louis adds, “I mean, I’ll always love the snow, but there’s just nothing like sitting on the beach with a cup of Del’s Lemonade.”

“You love the snow?” Harry asks, scrunching up his face. “That’s the one thing I wouldn’t miss. It’s fun at like, 6 inches max, but when it really starts piling up, I just want to hibernate till spring.”

“Six inches is your preferred depth of enjoyment? Noted.” Louis smirks.

“Doesn’t mean I can’t handle more.” Harry returns the notion in a way that makes Louis add to his list of Things He Likes About Harry. His quick wit.

“Mountains of snow are the best part of winter.” Louis says, “Sleeping in, dog in your lap, hot chocolate in hand, staying in your pj’s all day.”

“Stocking up on bread and milk.” Harry snorts. An actual snort, and damn if Louis doesn’t think that’s the cutest thing.

“Real natives go for the liquor store first.” Louis says. “Who doesn’t live for a good snowstorm sleepover?”

“Who needs a snowstorm to have a sleepover?” Harry looks down at him with that face. The one from the wedding, with so much ferocity behind those glassy green eyes that it makes Louis sweat where he stands.

Harry looks at him like that every now and then, and every now and then Louis panics.

Despite the obvious chemistry between them, something in him just can’t invest in moving beyond co-parenting friends with Harry.

What if they hook up and one of them ends up wanting more, but the other doesn’t? Or if they take it a step further into dating and it falls apart, which would only make the parenting part of their relationship extra awkward? Louis wouldn’t mind keeping his dog all to himself if Harry wanted to run away, but he would very much mind not having Harry in his life anymore. They’ve become so intertwined it would be a gaping loss in his life without him.

No, it’s not worth the risk, and Harry’s happy go lucky heart won’t let him consider what crossing a line like that could mean for their future, so Louis has to do it for both of them.

Maybe mostly for himself. Maybe he’s a bit more of a coward than he’d like to admit out loud.

“That’s actually a good point.” Louis says, smoothly steering away from anything too private, “We should see what the guys are up to later, do a game night or something.”

Harry visibly deflates, but he won’t address it either. Even when being shot down he seems happy to just spend time with Louis in any capacity, so he’ll never push his limits. But it’s hardly a secret that he’s hopeful for something.

“My place?” He offers. “The other dogs could come too.”

Niall’s golden retriever and the Malik-Payne’s English bulldog are already friends with Cinna, so it would be a party for them all.

“Sounds like a plan.” Louis smiles.

They continue their trek down the shore until they reach the nearest Iggy’s, where they claim one of the outdoor tables to stuff their faces with quahogs and crab cakes, topping it all off with a large Del’s lemonade for each of them. Cinna gets a complimentary cup of ice to lick to her heart’s content.

“You know what else I love about this place?” Louis says through a mouthful. “The views. I think the forests along the highways are probably my favorite.”

“Interesting choice.” Harry laughs, “Not the beach sunsets, city skyline, waterfront homes, even the back road forests. Just the open highway with miles of trees stretched between them that you can find in nearly any state?”

“Not like here.” Louis says, “Its just so… expansive. Maybe it’s the evening commutes, but nothing soothes the soul like listening to music on the way home with the sun setting in the distance.”

“I think I’m just enamored with the variety.” Harry offers his opinion, “Providence is all arts and nightlife, North Kingstown is more old timey, Oakland is all country, summer is best by the ocean.”

“And you can visit all of it within the span of a couple hours.” Louis agrees.

“And that’s if you take your time.” Harry laughs. “Me and Cinna actually tested that once, back when she was still called Ginger.”

“You make it sound like she’s been living a much better life than I have in the past year without her.” Louis pouts.

“Oh come on, you’re obviously doing alright for yourself.” Harry placates him.

“I’ve made my home so nice because I never leave it.” Louis says, “Except for work. My office is quite nice too, for that reason.”

“I have trouble picturing that version of you.” Harry squints, popping another bite in his mouth.

“It’s true.” Louis shrugs, “I’m boring. I used to have fun, but then I got old.”

It’s Harry’s turn to laugh at that. “I hope you only mean in spirit.”

“No, I’m washed up.” Louis places a hand on his lower back and hunches over the table. “My back aches all the time, my knees are getting weak, and my ideal evening ends with being in bed by 8pm.”

“Washed up at 28.” Harry sucks his teeth. “Probably because you’re always on that damn phone.”

Louis laughs. There’s a lot of that happening whenever Harry’s around.

“So when did the fun stop?” Harry asks, “When was the last time you had a really good night? Or day.”

“You mean before the wedding?”

“Of course I mean before the wedding, we all know I light up your world like nobody else.” Harry sports a cheeky grin.

“Well that’s easy,” Louis looks down at his preoccupied dog to give her a soft pet between her ears. “Cinna and I went hiking the weekend before she ran off.”

“Tell me about it.” Harry rests his elbows on the table and leans forward.

“She absolutely loved it, of course, as she does almost everything.” Louis smiles, “She sniffed and chewed at every little thing, so much we hardly did any hiking, it was more of just a nature sniffing walk.”

Harry smiles, inadvertently encouraging Louis to go on.

“I was seeing this guy at the time, so we met up with him and his dog that afternoon. He had this cute little spotted Corgi… it just ended up being such a lovely afternoon with the dogs.” Louis sighs, “I really missed days like that. Like this.”

Harry nods, prodding more, “And now tell me about this boy, too.”

“Oh, the Corgi? His name was Scooby, quite the adorable little guy—

Harry reaches across the table to push against Louis’s shoulder, laughing.

“Very funny, Lou.” He says, “But you know I want the juicy romance deets.”

Louis inwardly squirms. Outwardly, scrapes the bottom of his paper cup with a plastic spoon for whatever frozen lemonade is left. “He was nobody special. We only dated a few weeks, but at the time it was still part of the fun.”

“Why’d you stop seeing him?”

Louis shrugs. “Depression, I guess. Just sort of fizzled out.”

Harry must make his own assumptions about that, because he doesn’t ask for more.

“I saw the last guy I was with on the news last week.” He offers a change of subject, sitting up straight again as he waits for Louis to take the bait.

“For what?” Louis asks.

“Dog-napping.” Harry’s face is stone cold, and yet Louis still senses that he’s joking to lighten the mood. It’s kind of fucked up, but maybe that’s why Louis can’t help laughing anyway. Harry just gets him.

“Now for real?” He tries again.

“DUI.” Harry says, “He was driving fully on the opposite side of the road at like 3am. The footage was insane.”

“Sheesh.” Louis makes a face.

“Guess I have a type.” Harry shrugs.

“Irresponsible drunkard?” Louis guesses.

“Not usually.” Harry laughs, “I just like a wild card. Someone to keep me on my toes. They come in all kinds of different packages.”

“Is that so?” Louis asks, “Tell me about these wild cards.”

He distinctly remembers Harry referring to him as such at the wedding reception. It doesn’t have to mean anything, though. Even if the butterflies in Louis’s tummy insist otherwise.

“Well, my first girlfriend was older. A senior in high school when I was just a sophomore.” Harry remembers. “She took me cliff diving and I got hooked on the thrill.”

“Even little Harry was a risk taker.” Louis observes.

Harry grins. “The next girl was during my senior year, and we had a threesome, and that’s how I figured out I’m into men too.”

Louis laughs. “Right, right, the classic “whoops I had a threesome and now I might be gay” route.”

“Classic bi erasure.” Harry counters, shaking his head.

“You’re right, actually. I hadn’t even considered that.” Louis admits.

“I forgive you.” There’s a smile on his face that indicates he isn’t all that bothered by it.

“Go on then, Bi King. Tell me about your other _lovers_.” Louis prods, purposely gender neutral.

Harry dimples with a grin.

“It just so happens that I’ve only dated guys after her.” Harry says, “My first boyfriend taught me how to cook with weed… took a cross-country road trip with the one after that… learned about taxidermy from the next…”

“Jesus.” Louis is in awe. “Did you actually stuff dead animals?”

“Not myself, but I did enjoy watching and learning about the process.” Harry explains, “It’s not all stuffing, it’s got a lot to do with bleaching bones and teeth and stuff too. He had a particular interest in skeletons.”

“Oh great, and here I thought you were doing something creepy.” Louis’s voice is full of sarcasm.

“Well, the guy I’m into now stole my dog in the middle of the night. How’s that for creepy?” Harry blurts, so casually, with a confidence that Louis would never be able to match.

He holds Louis’s gaze for a prolonged moment, leaving him at a loss for words, like one of Harry’s exes must have taught him how to hypnotize people too. Which one taught him how to just boldly say whatever’s on his mind? Or can that be attributed to just Harry being Harry?

Louis audibly gulps. Never mind that they’ve been sitting in the sun for close to an hour, his face feels hotter all of a sudden.

“You mean he stole his own dog back.” He corrects, “And it was in the early morning.”

Thankfully, Harry laughs and doesn’t push it further. Louis does love how easy going he is.

“Oh, you thought I meant you? How embarrassing.” Harry jokes, making a face. “I meant the other guy who stole Cinna in the middle of the night. You don’t know him, he goes to another school.”

Louis laughs again. It is so, so easy to just be with Harry.

“So which state was your favorite?” Louis smoothly changes the subject, “On the road trip.”

“This one, by far.” Harry smiles, a soft thing with ever softer dimples. “We actually drove east to move to Brooklyn, but after the breakup I needed to go somewhere else. I ended up visiting mom’s beach house for a weekend just to scope it out and I haven’t left since.”

Louis smiles back.

“Well aren’t we the lucky ones?”

“I think I am, actually.” Harry is all soft and warm about it.

By the time they’re finished eating, the clouds have begun to roll in. They clean up their mess and start leading the dog back down the beach towards Harry’s house.

As they’re all splashing their way along the shore, Cinna tripping the two of them up as she runs between their legs, soaking their shorts with her little paws as she jumps up in pure excitement, it starts to rain.

Lightly at first, but in true New England fashion it quickly crescendos into a total downpour.

They’re both laughing and breathing heavy as the raindrops hit their heads, splashing wet sand at their feet and soaking their clothes all the way through by the time they’re able to run up the wooden stairs and take shelter under the awning.

Dripping and sticky, panting as they catch their breath, huge smiles on their faces as they ring their clothes out, is where Louis takes a second to appreciate how he’s never felt more completely whole in his entire life.

He’ll be adding this to the list of days he can consider Most Fun. And it’s only halfway done.

*

Cinna greets Buzz Lightyear the Golden Retriever and Thanos the English Bulldog at the front door with her tail already wagging. It takes a few seconds of recognition before they all start tackling and rolling around with each other, and as soon as they run off with their leashes untethered, Harry motions through for their friends to file inside.

The sun is just beginning to set over the sea, washing the interior of Harry’s home in an orange glow. As their initial greeting chatter dies down, something occurs to Louis.

“Now that I think about it, how did you guys not realize that Ginger was actually Cinna?” He squints at the three of them as the dogs go about their playtime.

“Hey, I definitely told you Harry had a dog that reminded me of her!” Zayn defends himself. “I just didn’t think it was the same one. He said she was adopted.”

“I told you guys I found her running loose on the beach.” Harry clarifies.

Zayn shrugs. “Louis lost his dog in Providence. That’s like an hour away by car. What are the chances she ran all the way down here?”

“100%, apparently.” Harry and Louis answer in unison.

“He’s right, though.” Liam says, “The walker never told you she took Cinna to the beach, Lou. She just said she got away. Remember after all the searching you were convinced she just stole her?”

“If I’d have seen even one picture of Harry’s dog I’d have recognized her right away.” Louis pouts.

“But you didn’t want to.” Zayn reminds him, “You said it would make you too sad.”

“Good to see you guys too!” Niall interjects, stretching his arms out to bring them all in for a hug to remind them of his presence. “It’s been forever! Aren’t you glad we’re all here together with our dogs in the present tense?”

“Thank you, Niall.” Harry says, happily tightening the five-way hug between them.

“Niall being the voice of reason? That’s new.” Louis grumbles.

“I brought cards!” Niall announces, since they’re all apparently at the point in their lives where a game of cards with good friends is an ideal Saturday night. “Cards Against Humanity, UNO, and something called These Cards Will Get You Drunk. I’ve never played before, but it looks promising.”

“For God’s sake Niall, why do you always bring UNO?” Louis groans in unison with the rest of them.

“You know it’s my favorite.” Niall grins.

“UNO destroys families!” Louis puts his metaphorical foot down. “There will be no UNO under my watch.”

Niall shrugs, “One day you’ll embrace the calamity.”

“New drinking game it is, then!” Liam claps his hands once, rubbing them together in anticipation.

*

“Everyone who is shorter than you drinks.” Louis reads, squinting as he does. As if he needed a reminder that he’s the munchkin of the group.

A collective chuckle erupts, and a dog tongue laps at a water bowl in the background.

“Thank you, Buzz.” Louis says, drinking along with him.

“To infinity and beyond!” The group cheer, taking a synchronized gulp of their drinks.

Niall had pulled a card earlier that allowed him to make a game rule, so he came up with the idea that they say the character’s catchphrase and take a swig every time Buzz’s name came up. And he’s a very curious dog, so lots of drinks have been had on his account.

“Pick someone and guess the color of their underwear.” Harry laughs as he reads his card, “If you guess correctly, they drink. Otherwise, you drink.”

“Can’t pick Louis.” Zayn says right away, “You two have probably already seen each other’s today.”

“Zayn! What kind of girl do you think I am?” Harry feigns shock, but guesses anyway, “It’s blue, and I swear that’s just a guess, but I have a strong feeling about it.”

Everyone looks over at Louis.

“Technically Navy.” Louis shrugs. What can he say, Harry just gets him.

“So easy it doesn’t even count.” Harry grins, contemplating for a quick moment before he decides to pick Zayn.

“I’m guessing you have on something dark… I'll go with black. Maybe with a print? Marijuana leaves, perhaps?”

“Does he get half credit?” Zayn asks, “The base color is white. My black ones are dirty.”

“You both drink.” Liam laughs. “Harry, you’re suspiciously good at that.”

“I’m very intuitive.” Harry beams, sipping his Jack and Coke.

“Everyone votes on who is the biggest alcoholic. That person drinks and chooses one other to drink with them.” Niall reads the next card.

Four pointer fingers extend in Louis’s direction.

“Oh, fuck you guys.” Louis says, “Niall’s got a beer in his hand every time I see him!”

“I’m a bartender, it comes with the territory.” Niall defends himself, “What’s your excuse?”

“I’ve seen you wait for it to be noon so you can have a glass of wine, Lou.” Harry laughs. “There’s no competition on this one.”

“Only on a really stressful morning.” Louis says.

“I do yoga on my stressful mornings.” Harry counters.

“Video games.” Liam says.

“Spray paint my room.” Zayn says.

“Listen to music.” Niall says, forcing Louis to consider his own lifestyle choices.

So what if he likes to take the edge off with a semi regular drinking habit. He’s pretty sure if his friends were actually concerned about his well being, they wouldn’t be encouraging it to such an extent.

“Whatever, I know who I am.” Louis shrugs, raising his gin and tonic towards the blonde one to clink glasses in cheers. “The alcoholics who drink together, Niall.”

“Start a 3 finger game of Never Have I Ever.” Liam reads his card, “Drink every time you lose a finger, stop when someone loses them all.”

Each of them holds up three fingers.

“No picking things you know other people have done just to get them out.” Harry says. “Like, anal is obviously off the table, rim jobs, sucking dick, etcetra.”

Niall and Zayn both burst out laughing, apparently never having heard Harry talk that way before. The more he drinks, the less shame he has left; Louis suddenly feels honored to have learned first hand.

“Never have I ever heard Harry use the word ‘anal’.” Zayn’s face is red with glee. He and Niall are the only ones to let down a finger and drink.

“What, are we all in middle school now?” Harry jokes, “Anal. Asshole. Buttsex. Penis!”

“Penis!” Niall shouts louder.

“The penis game, guys? Really?” Liam rolls his eyes as the two of them completely lose it in a fit of giggles.

Louis hums, thinking he knows his friends pretty well, at least when it comes to the dirty things. He decides to take the road less traveled and say, “Never have I ever tasted my dog’s treats.”

“Really?” Liam’s eyes widen as he puts down a finger and chugs. “You’ve never been curious?”

“Absolutely not, I’m a man of cultured tastes.” Louis notices that everyone but himself has put a finger down, but Harry is probably the most surprising.

“Harold, I’m scandalized.” Louis says, “I thought you were better than that.”

“Well that was your first mistake.” Harry grins. “Impulse is the spice of life.”

“You’re clearly the weird one here for not trying it, Lou.” Liam points out.

“If having the sense to know that dog food doesn’t taste good to humans makes me weird, I’m 100% okay with that.” Louis maintains.

“Those cookies that look like human food are kinda class.” Niall says, “Have you ever checked the ingredients? It’s all natural stuff, just less sugar.”

“Well, Niall, you do know how much I love sugar free organic cookies.” Louis quips.

“I’m just saying! Not as bad as you’d think.” He shrugs, taking a quick moment to think over his turn before blurting, “Never have I ever had a crush on a friend and not told them.”

Harry doesn’t drink, because he’s a ballsy little shit who unabashedly wears his heart on his sleeve at all times. Everybody else lingers their gaze on Louis.

“Zayn, didn’t Liam make the first move between you?” Louis ignores them, focusing on someone who he knows for fact fits the bill, and only has one finger left.

“I’ll drink when you do.” He says.

Louis rolls his eyes.

“Fine.” He takes a hard swig, swallowing fast and waiting expectantly for Zayn to end the game with a smirk as he puts his last finger down and sips.

“Why so triggered, Lou?” Harry gives him the sweat-inducing look again. His eyes are so… so… goddammit.

Harry knows. Of course he knows. He has to know. Isn’t just knowing enough? Why does he want so badly to hear it when it wouldn’t change a thing anyway? Why in front of everybody, at that?

“This isn’t truth or dare.” Louis avoids the subject as he reaches for the pile, not even sure if it’s his turn, “Truth or Dare the person on your right.”

He interrupts himself to shout, “What the fuck!” making everybody laugh at his expense while he finishes, “If they successfully complete their choice, you drink. If they refuse, they drink.”

Zayn is to his right, so that’s nothing to worry about, but Harry sits on his left, so that’s a bit of a concern for the future.

Zayn picks dare.

“Feeling adventurous tonight?” Louis would’ve guessed he’d pick truth out of sheer laziness if nothing else.

Zayn shrugs. “Got enough in me, I guess.”

Louis dares him to lick Buzz Lightyear’s foot. Everyone shouts “To infinity and beyond!” And tosses one back.

Buzz naturally responds to his name, lifting his head up from where the three pups have formed a pile of sleepy limbs and fur.

“Always the dogs with you.” Zayn grumbles, crawling across the floor to where the dogs are laying.

“Lou was born to be a crazy dog person.” Niall laughs. “He’s obsessed.”

“It’s true, I do shine as a dog parent.” Louis owns it, beaming at his own lump of love from across the room.

Zayn completes his dare quickly but thoroughly, sticking his tongue out and dragging it from the bottom of Buzz’s large paw pad to the top of the middle toe and literally crawling back on all fours to his spot around the table.

Louis drinks.

“Remind me not to kiss you till you brush your teeth.” Liam says.

“As if you could resist.” Zayn makes kissy lips in his direction. “Truth or dare, my love?”

“I’ll drink.” Liam decides quickly, tossing back a sip.

“Lame.” Zayn pouts.

“Niall?” Liam asks.

“Dare all the way.” He grins.

Liam motions for him to hand over his near empty can of Gansett, passes it around the table for everyone spit into, and then dares Niall to finish the drink.

“Oh, you guys are sick,” He makes a face, but throws the whole thing back into his mouth with one huge gulp.

Liam drinks.

“What’ll it be Harry?” He asks.

“Dare.” Harry grins.

“I dare you to…” Niall looks Louis in the eyes like he’s about to say something completely ridiculous, but he and Louis go way back.

Before Harry, before the wedding, back when Liam and Zayn were barely even a thing, Niall was Louis’s first friend in University. Then he dropped out and helped Louis party his way through the rest until graduation.

Niall should have the decency to not betray his oldest friend for a harmonious household with Harry. Surely they’ve all evolved the most minuscule amount of maturity to not force the unspoken thing between the two of them into the open.

“To skinny dip in the ocean.” He decides to absolve Louis from both the spotlight and the impending necessity to strangle him in his sleep tonight.

“What!” Harry objects, much louder than he probably intended. Loud, inappropriate Harry is a sight Louis lives for. “You guys all got easy things!”

“Not true. Who knows what kind of diseases could be festering on a dog’s paw?” Zayn says, more for the freaked out the expression on Liam’s face than his own actual concerns.

“Or in the combined slobber of all you dirty bastards.” Niall adds, scrunching his face up.

“I would let every single person in this room spit directly into my mouth and love it.” The thing about Harry is that even sober, he means just about everything that comes out of his mouth. The thing about drunk Harry is he doesn’t filter any of it.

Zayn and Niall burst out laughing again. Liam shakes his head in that soft way that only a true best friend has a right to, like you know the person is a fool but you love them with every bone in your body anyway. Louis just grins, relating to that sentiment way more than he’d prefer to acknowledge at the moment.

Harry pulls his shirt over his head and starts undoing his pants, and the four of them have to shout for him to stop.

“Dude, strip yourself outside, you freak!” Niall gets up to offer him a hand, and the rest of them stand in unison.

“Sorry, I thought this was a party.” Harry shrugs.

“As if that’s an appropriate place to get naked in front of a crowd.” Louis snorts.

“On a dare? Obviously.” Harry says, leading the way to his back porch. “Or hey, just for the fun of it.”

“Indecent exposure, becoming a registered sex offender, you know, just a regular Saturday night.” Louis’s tone may as well be the invention of sarcasm.

The air is a little chilly at the end of summer, but feels nice against his liquor warmed skin. His eyes spare a moment to adjust to the black night view, but eventually the stars come into focus. They each lean their arms against the railing to keep an eye on Harry over the balcony. The waves are small and steady tonight, and the salty smell of the sea always welcoming.

Harry waves up at them from the beach below.

“No one wants to join me?” The pout is clear in his voice.

“You do have the option to just take a sip of your drink, H.” Liam reminds him.

“I never refuse a dare!” Harry nearly screeches, slipping his underwear to his ankles along with his pants. Niall and Zayn chuckle under their breath.

He stands with his back to the deck for a short moment, wiggling his toes in the sand. Then his head turns to look over his shoulder at Louis.

“Take a good look, Lou! This one’s for you!” He takes off running down the beach, and Louis is positively reddened. Thank god it’s too dark to tell, cause he’d never hear the end of it.

“Fucking nutcase.” Zayn says, but he’s grinning the whole time.

“I know his dick’s about to freeze off.” Niall says, watching Harry splash his way into the waves, a little deeper with every passing second.

“How tragic for you, Lou. Would you still love him without it?” Zayn asks.

“I—what? I don’t.” Louis stutters, caught completely off guard.

“Sure, yeah, alright.” Niall teases, “You look at him like he’s your dog.”

“It’s only embarrassing when it’s unrequited.” Liam shrugs.

“Someone throw me a towel please!” Harry shouts. He’s clearly had enough, as he’s already begun splashing his way back towards them, hugging himself to keep from shivering.

“I’ve got it.” Louis says by reflex, because of course his natural devotion to Harry’s every whim would spring up with impeccable timing.

“Shut up.” He gives a stern look to his friends before dashing inside the house to prepare for Harry’s return, and hears them all burst out laughing behind his back.

*H

Harry’s belly is full, his head slightly dizzy, body warmed by the liquor and the Louis and all the other company. Everyone else is asleep on the floor of his living room by now, but he and Louis sit together on the swing in the corner of the deck, blanket draped over their shoulders as they gently sway under the moonlight.

Cinna rests her head on Harry’s lap and Louis leans his head against Harry’s shoulder, holding a lit cigarette between his fingers. The crash of waves against the shore can be heard in the background, and the ocean breeze forces the two of them together into a cozy cocoon.

“Louis,” Harry whispers, breaking the comfortable little bubble of silence between them.

“Hm?” Louis asks, lifting his head to look up at Harry with blue so bright it turns Harry’s crimson heart purple.

“You never did your truth or dare.” He says.

“Damn, you noticed that.” Louis chuckles softly.

“I always notice you.” Harry’s never been shy about his feelings, and even though he knows it’s likely that nothing will ever come of it, he doesn’t want there to be any doubt in Louis’s mind where he stands.

There’s a weird comfort to be found in making himself vulnerable, like nobody can hurt him if he’s already made peace with the reality of how things are. Even the messy stuff becomes less shameful somehow.

Louis smiles, tiptoeing around Harry’s affections as usual. Clearly he is still working on owning his emotions enough to even address them with a trusted friend, but Harry kind of likes the challenge. Like it’s still special whenever Louis does decide to share a side of himself that Harry’s never met before.

“Truth.” He picks, “I’m feeling too lazy to move right now.”

“You’ll be completely honest?” Harry checks. “There’s no choosing a sip of your drink as a cop out.”

“Now’s your chance, Haz.” Louis confirms.

“So… the night we met. Like, really met. The wedding.” Harry starts, “I thought this was going somewhere… not friendly. And then I feel like something changed, and I’m not really sure why.”

“Not exactly a question.” Louis breathes a laugh through his nose.

“What changed?” Harry rephrases, holding his own breath out of the sheer anxiety snowballing within him.

“I just think,” Louis pauses to gather his own thoughts, probably to let Harry down easy, and Harry will keep telling himself that’s okay. He can take it. It’s the not knowing that makes the fantasy so delicious. Maybe all he needs is the bubble to be popped to snap him out of it.

“I think with Cinna in the picture, I just realized that a lot can go wrong if we take this too far.” Louis explains, “She’s so lucky to have two dads who love her, and I’m lucky to have the help, and I just don’t want to ruin something that’s so good exactly how it is.”

Harry nods, processing. It does make sense, and it’s something he hadn’t thought of it until now.

Because thinking of them raising her together as a couple just makes so much more sense.

“You love your dog more.” Harry says out loud, trying to accept it, “You don’t want to risk the friendship.”

“Feelings always complicate things.” Louis says.

“Do they?” Harry asks. It sounds so juvenile.

“Don’t they?” Louis counters, brows raised in challenge.

“Not in my experience.” Harry says.

He likes to think he has a healthy view of his own relationships. None of his exes have done him wrong or vice versa, they all just reached a point where they began to grow apart instead of growing together. He’s been lucky to end all of his flings with a mutual understanding of where the other person is at in their lives, and lucky to hold the people he’s loved and liked in a positive light.

If Louis hasn’t been so lucky, he’d like to understand why.

“Why do you feel that way?” He says.

“Are we still playing truth or dare?” Louis chuckles nervously.

“If you need the cover of playing a game to be honest about your feelings, sure.” Harry shrugs.

He watches Louis eyes harden, wonders if maybe that was pushing him too far.

But above anything else, Louis is his friend. Beyond passing the dog back and forth, all the time spent with her together has bonded them to each other in a way that Harry hopes makes Louis feel as safe and welcomed as he does.

After a long pause, Louis lays his head back onto Harry’s shoulder and opens himself up a little more.

“I guess you could consider me a serial dater or whatever.” Louis says, “I’ve never been single for long, and it never ends well. So, at some point I had to look at myself to figure out why.”

“Explain how it never ends well.” Harry pries carefully, “I want to understand where you’re coming from. I’m trying to put myself in your shoes, but I’ve honestly never had a bad experience with an ex. Or a fling, for that matter.”

“Probably because you’re so hot.” Louis snorts.

“That can’t be right, because so are you.” Harry says.

Louis rolls his eyes, but continues to spill, the words tumbling out of his mouth in a clumsy fashion, a spontaneous rock slide down an uncharted cliff.

“Alright, well, there’s my first boyfriend who kept us closeted the whole 3 years we were together, before I got tired of being a dirty little secret.” Louis says, making Harry’s hand act on its own, reaching up to pet Louis’s fluffy caramel hair as he goes on.

“The next one cheated on me several times.” He scoffs, “Hell, a few of them have cheated over the years, so we’ll lump all them in together.”

“Idiots. Dummies. Fucking losers.” Harry says.

“Dummies indeed.” Louis chuckles, tugging himself closer into Harry’s night shirt.

As Harry listens to him reveal a little more about some of the people who’ve shaped him over the years, all he can think is that he’d give this man the world if he would just ask for it.

_Just freaking ask for it._

“There was Francois from France, who I was tottttalllly in love with, only for him to decide he just wanted a summer fling.” Louis sighs.

“Ooh, tell me about that.” Harry says.

“Are you getting off on this?” Louis asks, hint of amusement in his tone.

“Trying to!” Harry jokes.

“Well, it’s a bit dramatic to call it love, but I would’ve followed him back to Marseille in a heartbeat.” Louis says. “I’d never been so disgustingly into somebody before.”

“To be fair, everyone loves a foreign transplant.” Harry nods. “Mine was Ronaldo. Proud Colombian. Spanish still gets me going after that one.”

“Donde esta la biblioteca?” Louis asks, making Harry shake with laughter.

“Don’t tease me, Lou. I’m close.” He jokes. Louis looks up at him with that wrinkly faced, sparkly eyed grin of his.

“The one after that turned out to be an actual stalker. Like, if he comes within 500 feet of me now, he could be thrown in prison.” He goes on.

“Christ,” Harry breathes. “Did he ever hurt you?”

“Just followed me home a lot, waited outside my house, sent me mass amounts of hot and cold texts. He’d go from professing his undying love for me to threatening to vandalize my property if I didn’t come talk to him.” Louis explains, “I finally hit him with the papers and surprisingly never heard from him again, but some part of me is always a teeny bit afraid whenever I remember him.”

“I’ll seriously fight this guy if he comes back.” Harry says, “Like, I know I’m a softie inside and all but I mean it, Lou. I’ll fuck him up.”

“I believe you, and I’ll keep you in mind if it becomes necessary.” Louis laughs, “But it’s been a few years since I’ve seen him, so I think I’m in the clear.”

“He better be the worst of your heartbreaks.” Harry says.

“No, that would be Ryan.” Louis’s voice falls, his expression defaults back to rest, and his eyes seem to focus on the space behind Harry’s head.

He doesn’t elaborate for a long minute, but Harry’s patience pays off.

“Sorry,” Louis shakes his head back to awareness. He reaches for the pack of Newports left on the empty cushion beside him and quickly flicks the lighter to spark the end of a new cigarette to life.

“Man, I really loved him.” He says, sucking in a long drag of smoke and blowing it out another moment later, “And I know he loved me too, but he loved the opiates more.”

“Louis.” Harry’s voice is saturated with sympathy.

“See, that look is what I really wanted to avoid.” Louis sits up, pulling the blanket tighter around the arm it still covers. “I’m fine, honestly. Feels kinda fucked up to say I don’t even miss him.”

He’s really hitting his cigarette now, one long drag after the next.

“He’s still alive, last I heard. In and out of rehab, but like, it could’ve been a lot worse. Sometimes serious shit happens, you know? I lost my sister that way, after the cancer took my mother.” Another breath of smoke, an ash onto the deck.

“God, Louis. I’m so sorry.” Harry breathes. He really didn’t intend to dig up all of this, nor did he even suspect it existed. Louis is either very good at putting on a facade, or just truly handling it all so gracefully.

“I’m _fine_.” Louis says, again. “Shit happens, life happens, it is what it is. I’m still here, so I’m not gonna spend my time harping on about it.”

“Just because things could be worse doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to throw a pity party every now and then.” Harry says.

“But I did all that already. Every day of our life together was a fucking pity party. For me, for my family, for him, for us. Every single day.” Louis sighs, this time just staring at the bright red embers burning between his fingers.

“The fighting, the crying, all the goddamn begging I did for him to just love me enough to get better. The absolute fucking cavern in my chest every time he came home high again…” Another drag into his lungs, “It was just so much drama, and it was _all the time_. For years.”

Harry just nods, letting him rant through it. He reaches a hand out to place on Louis’s shoulder in comfort.

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to sound crass.” Louis sighs, falling backwards against the swing, pushing it back into motion. He shuts his eyes and lets the sway relax him a bit. Raises the cigarette to his lips again. “I know that addiction is a disease and that I can’t even fathom how hard it is to recover. But between that and all my own grief, I just couldn’t wait around for him to do it anymore.”

“And that’s okay.” Harry says.

Louis’s eyes open, he turns his head to face Harry again, skin washed pale white through the dark.

“It’s okay that you couldn’t handle it.” Harry says again. “You did your best, and those are his demons to fight off, not yours.”

Louis sighs again, but then his lips turn into a soft smile. He takes one last hit before ashing out the butt into the tray.

“After him, I stayed single for the longest I’ve ever been. I’m so pathetic I needed to get a dog to keep me company.” He laughs, reaching to pet all the way down Cinna’s back.

“I’d argue adorable, but go on.” Harry says.

“Then when I started dating again, losing Cinna happened, and it just made me feel like I wanted to keep being alone.” He shrugs again, meeting Harry’s eyes with his own, the apology unspoken between them, “I’ve been in shitty relationships and avoiding my own self care since I was sixteen and I’m just so sick of it. I need to figure myself out.”

“I get that.” Harry says. He does. There’s nothing quite like coming home to a quiet house, especially with a dog to greet you, and just being able to have your own schedule and live life on your own terms. As much as Harry thrives in relationships, he never takes his single life for granted either.

“You’re living your best life right now, and who am I to think I can stop you?”

“Exactly.” Louis chuckles.

In all of Harry’s pre-wedding memories of meeting Louis, he was with somebody. It’s why Harry always kept his distance, because he’s certainly noticed Louis since the day they were first introduced.

It was at a graduation party in Niall’s old apartment at least six years ago. Louis was wearing all black paired with a classic denim jacket, his hair was swooshier back then, his eyes such a striking crystal blue. Harry was pouring himself a drink and all Louis had to say was _excuse me, can I get in there?_ to move Harry from where he stood by the fridge door, and Harry’s brain said _you can get in anywhere you want_, but his mouth just spoke _of course, sorry_ as he took a step to the side.

And he knew that tiny encounter never meant anything more than that to Louis, because he noticed later on that there was some guy on his arm all night and they looked perfectly happy. So Harry just admired from afar.

And then when the two of them showed up to Liam’s much more intimate birthday event the following year, Harry got to learn for himself that Louis was funny and smart and going places in his career, and he yearned to learn more about his mind and his heart and the things he held dear, but Louis was taken then too.

There had been a few more encounters, some with even small conversations over the years, always at public events, always surrounded by other people, and always when Louis was spoken for. Occasionally Harry was seeing someone too, but he always felt a little guilty for being so excited to have such a small, seemingly insignificant chat with someone else during those phases. Because it was never insignificant to him. And he couldn’t even remember what they’d talked about now, just that it always made Harry feel like he wanted to keep going.

And then the wedding came, Louis mentioned he was finally single, and Harry thought he’d finally gotten his chance.

Maybe he still does. He just has to keep being patient.

“Thanks for being so open.” Harry says, settling himself deeper into the cushions, pushing his feet against the deck to get the swing going again. He feels a little more at peace with their friendship, having read through another chapter of Louis’s story.

“Thanks for being so understanding.” Louis smiles as he stares up at Harry for what feels like an unreasonable amount of time.

“What?” Harry asks.

“I’m just… impressed.” He says, “I’ve never met anyone like you, Harry.”

“What? Not even the cheaters or the heroin addict?” Harry teases, making Louis relax into soft laughter, all traces of tension washed away with the warmth of the night.

“Clearly I have a type, too. Walking disasters.” Louis admits.

“Well hey, if I’m not imagining things…” Harry alludes, “It kinda seems like you’ve upped your standards.”

“You’re not imagining things.” Louis finally admits, “I do find you quite charming, Harry.”

And Harry’s stomach twists and loops around like a world renowned roller coaster.

“Good, then I’ll keep praying for my opportunity to make The Evil Ex List someday.” He says, rubbing his hands together like a calculating villain.

Louis rolls his eyes. “That’s exactly what I’m trying to avoid.”

“No pressure at all,” Harry assures him, “We could always just make love if you find yourself bored or horny sometime.”

“Oh, gag me.” Louis snorts. “Make love? Who’s really the old man here?”

“I said what I said.” Harry says, locking contact with those ocean eyes, not an inkling of wavering, watching the bob of Louis’s Adam’s Apple as he swallows the lump in his throat.

Harry can’t imagine a world where being in bed with Louis wouldn’t have his whole heart and soul exposed, raw and ready to be loved. It would end up being something more than just sex or fucking even if he tried to hold back. And he wouldn’t want to try.

“I’m glad I met you.” Louis deflects again, but his crinkly eyes give away the truth of it. “Or actually got to know you, I should say.”

“Eh, I think I could do without you.” Harry jokes.

“Don’t tempt me, I will take my dog and go.” Louis threatens.

“Wouldn’t be the first time.” Harry counters.

“Okay, alright, I’m calling a truce.” Louis backs down.

“Because you lost?” Harry chuckles.

“You decimated me.” Louis admits.

“And I’ll do it again.” Harry winks.

Louis rolls his eyes again, but there’s still a smile on his face. He gets up, letting the blanket fall to the cushions beneath as he stretches his arms up to the starry sky, and Cinna raises her sleepy head, eyes barely open to scope out the scene.

“Bedtime for me.” He says, turning to offer a hand for Harry to hoist himself up too.

The two of them cross the threshold of the sliding glass door back into the warmth of Harry’s home, as their dog jumps down and happily follows on their haunches.

*L

“Are you fuckin’ brain dead?” Niall asks, literally knocking on the top of Louis’s head for good measure.

Louis had just relayed the entire conversation with Harry to the best of his ability, and Niall clearly does not approve of his choices.

“No, I’m a mature adult who knows himself enough to not take on more than he’s ready to.” Louis says as he ducks out from under his bony knuckles.

The two of them are strolling the city with the dogs on a sunny afternoon later that week, Louis having taken a personal day for no particular reason besides his career allowing him the luxury of creating his own schedule. There’s a slight breeze in the air that lets them know summer is officially on its last leg.

“Oh, barf.” Niall gags for emphasis. “Our 20’s are not the time to make ‘mature decisions’, they’re the time for being broke as fuck, following our shitty impulses, and fucking whoever we want.”

“How eloquent.” Louis rolls his eyes.

“Eloquence is for your 30’s and 40’s.” Niall says. “And 50 plus is the time to not give a fuck what anyone says about you or your life choices.”

“I’m probably in my 50’s now, then.” Louis says. “I got all that 20’s stuff out of my system in college.”

“You have been sort of a grandpa since graduation.” Niall agrees. “So in that case, you should be looking for someone to give you grandchildren someday.”

“Cinna is fixed for a reason.” Louis reminds him.

“Human grandchildren.” Niall goes on, “And Harry’s a responsible young man who’s clearly ready to raise a litter with you at any moment. So anything except ‘of course babe, I love you too’, is the wrong answer.”

“We are nowhere near the realm of talking about babies, Niall. Harry’s just crushing.” Louis objects. Cinna looks back over her shoulder at just the mention of that name, and isn’t that just the perfect little development.

“So are you!” Niall accuses.

“I’m—yeah, well. What’s a crush good for if not to lead to a relationship?” Louis counters.

“Say it with me dude,” Niall says, “Casual. Sex.”

“It can’t be casual with Harry.” Louis shakes his head. It is so far from casual with Harry.

“So then fuck him while you date him! What’s the harm?” Niall presses on.

“If we break up, then he’s just… gone.” Louis doesn’t stay friends with his exes, because they usually aren’t friends first. The romance is there and then it dies, and they separate and go on about their lives. A clean break, like it should be.

But he could never break from Harry.

“I can’t not have him around.” Louis says, trying to rationalize his jumbled thoughts, “Cinna needs him, too.”

“If this is about the free doggy daycare, that’s pretty fucked up.” Niall says.

“Oh, come on. You know that’s not it.” Louis backtracks, “It’s about me being mentally stable enough to know that I’m not mentally stable enough for a relationship… with Harry.”

Niall raises an inquisitive brow.

“Because I actually care about him.” He explains.

“Do you hear yourself when you talk? Like, are you actually listening to how ridiculous any of this sounds?” Niall stops to face him directly, and Buzz follows suit. He sits down and looks back at Niall, the question clear in his eyes.

“I know myself, Niall.” Louis says, “I’ll know when I’m ready for another relationship, but it isn’t now.”

“How long do you expect Harry to wait, then?”

“I’m not asking him to.” Louis says.

“But you know he is.” Niall says, “You two clearly more than just care about each other.”

“He and I have become very close in a completely platonic way.” Louis stays firm.

“This level of denial is impressive. Have you ever considered seeing a therapist?” Niall asks.

“Don’t you have somewhere to be?” Louis is officially ready to end the conversation, so thank god they’re just around the block to where Niall has parked outside Louis’s apartment. “Someone else to annoy with your prying questions?”

Niall rolls his eyes, but he can’t argue. Late afternoon means time for him to get ready for work, so he hands Buzz’s leash off to Louis and reminds him of the dog’s feeding schedule and potty times before saying his goodbyes for the evening.

Buzz is usually okay at home, but with Niall being a single working man, occasionally Louis does take him in for a night.

“Daddy’s talking crazy, isn’t he?” Louis asks the smiling retriever when he’s alone with the dogs. He just sits his butt on the concrete, tongue lolling to the side as his eyes search for approval.

Cinna sets a bad example by raising her little front paws to Louis’s knees, trying to jump up higher.

“Aren’t you glad your daddies are perfectly normal and sane human beings who don’t need an ounce of therapy or advice from any of their equally single friends?” He asks in his puppy voice, giving her a pet between the ears before unlocking the front door to lead them both upstairs.

**AUTUMN**

“Say gooood morning, daddy!” Harry sings his way into Louis’s apartment early one crisp autumn morning, since sharing copies of each other’s keys is a thing they do now.

Cinna’s nails click quickly across the hardwood floors to push open the door to Louis’s bedroom where she jumps into the mess of covers, licking Louis’s sleepy face into consciousness.

“Louis! Why are you still in bed?” Harry is scandalized at the sight of him, but why that is, Louis can’t remember.

“Because I’m not the kind of psychopath that wakes up before 9am on the weekends.” Louis grumbles, petting the excited pup who stayed out at her other father’s last night.

“Well I hope you’re not the kind of psychopath who’d say no to a day of festivities with your two favorite beings on earth!” The deep bass of Harry’s voice seems comical against the childish zest for life he harbors inside.

He isn’t dressed for any special occasions, just in a plain burnt orange tee with his brown Chelsea boots and a nice pea coat. His hair is getting a little longer now, enough that one little stray curl falls across his forehead in a way that kind of makes Louis want to start an applause.

Harry jumps into bed on top of him, nearly knocking the air out of Louis’s lungs underneath the weight of his hard body. Cinna turns her attention to his face, quickly becoming distracted by burying her face in the tangles of his hair.

“Zayn’s here too?” Louis sits up, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, teasing.

He and Zayn actually haven’t hung out for a while just the two of them, but that’s what he loves about their friendship. They could go the next twenty years without a word to each other and Louis is confident they’d pick up right where they left off as if no time had passed at all. Though he’d never want to go that long without even speaking, he’s content to spend all his time with Harry these days, and he assumes Zayn is busy enjoying his time as a newlywed too.

“Ha Ha, Louis. Has anyone ever told you you should do stand up?” Harry fake laughs.

“Just you, but I do trust your judgement.” He says. “Plus if I bomb in my new career I can always blame you.”

“You’d still love me though.” Harry says, because apparently that’s a thing they do these days too.

“Depends what you’ve got planned for today.” Louis jokes, still absolutely not ready to address those feelings yet.

He probably does love Harry, but he also loves Cinna and Zayn and Niall and Liam, his sisters and his late mother, nachos and sports and tea and trashy reality tv and all things fall and Halloween. So that doesn’t necessarily mean anything, right?

“Halloween Drag Brunch!” Harry bounces, his legs still straddled on either side of Louis’s waist.

“Ugh, how gay do you think I am?” Louis groans.

“Gay enough to literally suck dick, among other things.” Harry sticks his tongue out.

“Since when are you this rowdy in the mornings?” Louis laughs.

“Lou, it’s _drag brunch_, with _bottomless_ _mimosas_, and a _Halloween_ _theme_.” Harry emphasizes. “How are you not rowdy?”

“Because this is the first mention of bottomless mimosas I’ve heard.” Louis flips the covers off his lap to sit up, knocking Harry onto his back in the process.

Suddenly they’re laying in bed together, Louis half naked in his sleep shorts, and Harry all bright and giggly and warm next to him, and Louis is wondering how long it’s been since he had a hot someone in his bed like that.

But none of that has to mean anything either.

“Did you hear that, Cinna? Your father thought we could have drag brunch without bottomless mimosas!” Harry ruffles her ears between his hands, “A no mimosa drag brunch! What a concept!”

*

Maybe some part of Louis does love Harry, like truly loves him in a way that all the other people and things he also loves could never possibly compare, but the first time that idea is ever dragged to the forefront of his mind doesn’t surface until six mimosas deep into Halloween drag brunch in the heart of Downtown Providence, when Harry turns to him with a purple lipstick print on his cheek left by their favorite Queen of the morning and asks, “How does one go about becoming a drag queen? Asking for a friend.”

“Harry,” Louis just laughs, picturing this soft, curly prince all done up in a glittery leotard dress with fake boobs and a face caked with makeup. “You’d be a star.”

“Oh, no doubt about it.” Harry grins. The music blares in the background as Ms. Visa Decline sings about sucking dick in a public place while dressed as a sexy Captain Marvel.

“Just call me… Screwella DeVil.” He purses his lips and raises his near empty glass of Pomegranate champagne-juice, pinky out, and Louis finds himself so endeared he has to gulp down a sip of his own drink to squelch it.

“I’ll be your sidekick… 69 Dalmatians.” Louis says, the two of them bursting into exaggerated laughter.

“What’s so funny, ladies?” One of the Queens calls the two of them out, slowing their laughs into stupid smiles. It’s the one who’s been flirting with Harry all morning, the one who left the print on his cheek, courtesy of the thick Morticia Addams getup she chose for the morning’s festivities.

“The idea of Captain Marvel not fleeing to the nearest planet besides Earth if a man ever offered his dick to her.” Louis says off the top of his head, earning a roar of laughter.

“Or punching the shit out of them.” Someone in the audience adds.

“Or pegging the shit out of them!” Costume Captain Marvel finishes. “Big Dick Energy anyone?”

“I’m sensing some of that from this little snack over here.” The one with the Harry crush adds, tracing a finger over his broad shoulders.

“Oh, leave him be, you predator!” Ms. Marvel scolds, “He's clearly on a date with the hunk sitting right next to him.”

“Is it true?” Mrs. Addams feigns heartbreak, “Is my Gomez already spoken for?”

Louis is hesitant to correct them all of a sudden. He’d be in complete denial to ignore the nagging in his gut at somebody flirting with Harry in front of him, but that only has to mean something if he lets it.

“Oh no, we’re just friends.” Harry says, but he smirks mysteriously as he sips the last of his glass and raises it in the air, making eye contact with the nearest waitress.

Then he looks at Louis in that way that makes him sweat. Subtly sexy and playful and taunting.

Louis chugs his own drink.

“Seems sexual to me.” Marvel says.

“Mm, I don’t know,” Morticia hums, “I’d be the first to claim that dick if someone else was showing interest.”

A few _woo!_s and some claps from the audience. Harry just grins, blushing almost, shifting slightly in his seat from all the attention. His eyes never leave Louis’s though.

“Ah well, they've probably fucked at least once. How could you resist?” Marvel winks, “If either or both of you are looking for an eager and fully willing bottom, meet me outside after the show!”

“Now who’s the desperate slut?” Morticia teases.

“Still you!” Marvel counters, “Prostitute would be more fitting, seeing as I never work for free.”

“Much classier.” Morticia adds, “That being said, please don’t forget to tip your Queens and restaurant staff! Thank you everybody!”

Some sort of techno runway music blasts through the speakers as the ladies circle the room one last time, collecting stray dollar bills from the tables as they wave their way back to their makeshift backstage area behind the kitchen.

Curvy Morticia Addams makes sure to scoot her way directly past Harry, giving her padded bum a little shake right in his face. She winks over her shoulder as she disappears behind the curtain, and Louis’s jaw drops in drunken shock.

“Jealous?” Harry wiggles his brows.

“Surprisingly, a little.” Louis admits, frustrated with his own indecisiveness. He tosses back the last of his mimosa and squints his whole face as it goes down.

“Is it surprising though?” Harry smirks. “I’m irresistible.”

“And full of yourself.” Louis rolls his eyes.

“You could be full of me too, if you want.” Harry winks.

“You’re drunk.” Louis laughs it off.

“So are you.” Harry laughs, “And now that we are both sufficiently day drunk, we can commence phase 2.”

“Does that involve going back home to nap the afternoon away?” Louis asks.

“Absolutely not.” Harry says, “October is half over, Lou, and we haven’t done anything fall themed yet, so I am forcing you to enjoy the season with me.”

“Ugh!” Louis feigns annoyance, but if he’s being honest with himself, wherever Harry’s going to be today seems comparable to home. “Can Cinna come for phase 2? I miss her.”

Louis had almost forgotten what it was like to be a dog parent. He used to call places ahead of time to ask if they were dog-friendly and then rush through his errands that couldn’t include her, just because he couldn’t bear the thought of leaving her for even a few hours.

Thankfully Harry can relate.

“I insist that she does.”

*

The trees nearby are painted a medley of reds, oranges, and yellows, the air is crisp as the leaves crunching beneath their feet, and smells like the warm spice of autumn.

Spiked Apple Ciders in hand, the two of them chatter on while following close behind Cinna as she sniffs around the hundreds of pumpkins in the patch for her favorite.

“She loves pumpkins.” Louis says with a huge grin on his face as they watch her explore. “I don’t know what it is about them, but she just gets so excited.”

“I know,” Harry says, “We came together last year too, and she nearly fell into the big one.”

Every year, they carve out a prize-winning pumpkin for people to admire and take photos with. This year it was turned into Pennywise to fit with the zombie clown theme of the haunted hayride.

“How did she even get up there?” Louis gawks at the display from across the farm.

“I wanted a more creative picture for the gram.” Harry shrugs.

“Oh God,” Louis rolls his eyes, “Do you still have that godforsaken page up?”

When she finds the one she just can’t bear to part with, her little tongue licks all over the smooth ridges, bum furiously wagging in sync with her tail.

“It’s not godforsaken, it’s fun!” Harry confirms, nodding towards their dog that he’s already kneeling to photograph her angles, “And I fully intend to make you pose for a pic with her more appropriately sized pumpkin.”

“I will do no such thing.” Louis objects as they walk out to meet her where she’s idled a few feet away. She hops her front two legs on top of the pumpkin and sniffs around the stem, her tail fully wagging.

“Oh please, Lou? Look at her!” Harry says, kissing the air for Cinna to look at him so he can snap the photos. “Don’t you want the memory for yourself too?”

Louis stares at him for a prolonged moment. He’s pouting, like actually pouting with his stupid cute little lip pointed out and everything.

So Louis sucks his teeth, rolls his eyes, and kneels beside Cinna on her beloved pumpkin.

“Daddy’s a little bit of a nutcase, isn’t he?” Louis asks her dopey smiling face. She stretches her snout closer towards him, trying to lick his face.

Harry snaps about a million pics in just those few instants.

“Good girl!” He smiles, rushing over to give her pets and praise, “You’re so pretty! The prettiest little pumpkin baby!”

“Is she at least popular on Instagram?” Louis asks as they continue on towards the haunted hay ride further back on the farm grounds, Cinna’s leash in one hand and her chosen pumpkin nestled under the other arm.

“A little. We’re up to 2,000 fans.” Harry says, “She’s no brand ambassador, but some people seem to like her anyway.”

“How could you not love that face?” Louis coos, looking down at her happy little trot. She looks back up at him with a smile, panting with her tongue hanging out of her mouth.

“Tell me about it.” Harry agrees, but he’s looking at Louis with those eyes again when he says it.

Part of him has trouble believing someone as kind and free as Harry would ever be interested in keeping him around, and the other part is too terrified of his own shortcomings to even attempt to explore why that is. He wouldn’t even call himself insecure or anything close to it, but for someone like Harry who lives for spicing up his life, he can’t understand the choice to spend so much time with someone who’d prefer to split the rest of his life between discussing floor layouts at work and lying in bed with his dog during downtime.

It’s obvious why Harry’s good for him, but what is it about himself that makes Harry think he’s such a good fit for him?

Louis’s reluctance never seems to stop Harry from expressing himself though, and that’s just another tick on the list of things to be grateful for. Harry’s patience seems to be beyond saintly.

Maybe one night wouldn’t change anything between them.

Would Louis be able to stop after just one night, though? Would Harry?

_Maybe just a kiss will do._

The thought wiggles itself into Louis’s brain somewhere between Harry’s adorably feminine screams, drawn out by the zombie clowns and specters jumping out at them on the hayride, and the final Pumpkin Ale copped from the beer stand for their trek back to the front of the farm at the end of their spooky adventure.

Louis can’t help but focus all his attention on Harry’s lips all of a sudden.

“I had no idea you were such a baby.” Harry’s laughing but all Louis hears is little bells ringing in his ears, like he’s crossed the threshold to heaven or something. Who exactly has a whole day of festive drinking turned him into? Maybe it is time to lay off the liquor.

“Excuse me? Your screeching way surpassed mine.” Louis scoffs.

“You definitely peed your pants at the last part.” Harry accuses.

Louis pushes against him, causing him to stumble over his own boots a bit.

“Cinna outdid everybody, let’s be real.” He says.

The little furball of love tried her very hardest to slobber all over every gruesome monster who jumped out at their truck. She ended up diffusing the scare factor for the other passengers, considering how hard it was to remain terrified of a zombie clown when a cute little dog was licking its face and wagging her tail in excitement.

“She’s an angel.” Harry agrees.

“A badass.” Louis corrects, noticing how the glow of the LED lights buzzing overhead frames Harry’s hair in a way that makes him look like an angel.

Louis could barf at his own uninhibited thoughts at the moment.

That’s never a good look, though.

He’ll just have to find a way to quell them somehow.

Every leftover cell in his brain tells him it’s a bad idea, and yet the next time Harry gets his perfect little Cupid’s bows set to say something, Louis rises on his tiptoes to stop them with his own lips.

Harry’s eyes shoot open in surprise, and Louis shuts his tight to avoid chickening out too soon.

He melts into the moment, letting his fuzzy alcoholic brain lead his tongue across Harry’s lips, and he sighs into his mouth when Harry begins to kiss back, moving their lips together in harmony for a quick moment of fireworks between them.

Harry’s giant hand fits into the dip of Louis’s lower back to pull him closer, his other free hand finds a way to tangle itself in the hair at the back of Louis’s head, and as soon as Louis’s heart speeds up, igniting that feral tingle in his belly, he pulls out of the sensual grip.

They just stare at each other for a silent moment. Harry’s eyes are wide and crazy, like’s still trying to process what just happened. He looks like he forgot whatever it is he was going to say and too afraid to say anything else, so Louis’s buzzing brain just blurts the only coherent thought it can cling to.

“That was nice.” His voice comes out breathier than he expected.

“Yeah.” A tentative tilt tugs at the corner of Harry’s lips.

“I don’t know why I did that.” Louis rambles. “You just look really good today. Tonight.”

“It’s okay.” Harry’s grinning now, full set of pearly white glistening in the far light. “So do you.”

“I, um.” Louis hesitates. He did want more. Still wants more.

But instead he chooses to say, “Let’s not talk about it just yet.”

And Harry is still so patient and so kind and so understanding.

“Okay.” He agrees.

When they start walking again, both facing forward, Louis’s peripheral view catches the dimples still etched into his cheeks.

**WINTER**

*H

They don’t talk about it, ever.

And that’s okay with Harry, because he’s truly happy with whatever it is they have. It doesn’t feel like settling for Louis’s friendship, it feels like winning a spot in Louis’s life.

Because when Louis is sad, he calls Harry to cheer him up. When he’s happy, he calls Harry to celebrate. When he sees something funny, he sends it to Harry to laugh with. When he’s angry, Harry gets to be there for him to vent to. And when he wants to do something fun with Cinna, he’s really wanting to do something fun with Cinna and Harry.

So all the waiting doesn’t really feel like waiting.

Because when Harry needs a laugh or a chat or a cuddle, it’s Louis that he goes to, and Louis who’s always waiting with open arms.

And it wouldn’t make an ounce of sense for them to not end up together someday, so until then, Harry can just be grateful for the present.

“Smile! This is going on the Christmas card!” Harry beams from behind his phone camera as a collective groan erupts from their little group of 5 plus his mom, Gemma, Louis’s sisters, and the dogs.

The faces he captured in that one were priceless, but he snaps a few more for good measure anyway. Unsurprisingly, it’s quite hard to get a photo with that many faces in it where everybody is looking forward and smiling at once. Especially when there are dogs thrown into the mix.

“Harry, dear, I swear you’re more of a mom than I am.” Anne laughs.

“I’m not really making Christmas cards.” He says, “I just want to remember having all my favorite people together in one place.”

“Aw, we love you too, H.” Gemma wraps her arms around him in a big sisterly hug. “Enough to know you are probably going to make the cards.”

“They’ll obviously be late at this point, but I’ll be ready for next year.” Harry admits with a grin.

*

“How’s the egg nog?” Harry asks, closing the door behind him as he steps out to where Louis has escaped on the balcony.

The air is frigid on Christmas Eve, so Harry pulls his thick candy cane cardigan shut and crosses his arms over his chest. There a few things more comforting than the privilege of sharing a silent porch with Louis and his cigarettes amidst an otherwise bustling crowd indoors.

“You know me too well.” Louis grins, blowing out a stream of smoke from between his lips. “One of my favorite holiday drinks, actually.”

“Now see, that I didn’t know.” Harry says, “Do you have any other favorites?”

“Always partial to a good cider.” Louis says, “You?”

“I’m a hot chocolate man myself.” Harry says.

“Marshmallows and all?” Louis flicks some ash into the tray he’s set on the railing.

“The big ones.” Harry confirms, crossing the deck to meet him on the edge.

“You’re not cold out here?”

Louis is wearing a blue cashmere sweater with a white shirt peeking out from underneath. Paired with his gray pants, black Vans, and carefully mussed hair, it makes him look like Jack Frost himself. Harry would very much like to pull him close and nip at his nose.

“Winter baby.” Louis reminds him, “I was literally born for the chill.”

“As if I wasn’t?” Harry counters.

“As if that’s the only logical reason someone would enjoy the cold.” Louis chuckles, and this time it’s a puff of his own breath that permeates the air around them.

“I can’t think of any others.” Harry says.

“The season it represents.” Louis says, “The love and happiness of the holidays. Snow days. Cuddling up in front of the fireplace with every blanket you can find.”

“You do realize that winter is cold, right?” Harry asks, “You make it sound so warm and inviting.”

“It is to me.” Louis smiles, pressing his cigarette between his lips for another drag.

Maybe some part of Harry always knew that Louis was the one. He still remembers how alive he felt after their first encounter, how every cell of his being jumped for joy at the fateful reception earlier this year, when Harry finally managed to catch his attention.

And he’ll never forget that exact moment he first felt like the confession of his undying love would burst right out of him, as Louis managed to describe the worst season of all in a way that made Harry feel like he could learn to love it forever too.

Instead he just asks, “Did you like your birthday present?”

Most of Louis’s siblings still live at home with their stepdad, so it was a given that they’d be here. His oldest younger sister Lottie had gotten some big internship at a fancy makeup company in London last year though, so Harry thought it would be nice to fly her out for the holidays too. He knew he didn’t want to be entirely materialistic for both Louis’s birthday and Christmas, so he had to get a bit creative for one of them.

“Do I enjoy being surrounded by all my favorite human beings on all my favorite days of the year?” Louis takes another drag, blows it out, “Kind of. Just a little.”

Harry beams. “Good, because keeping the secret was not easy.”

“I was beginning to wonder if you even remembered.” Louis looks over at him with a hint of a smile tilting his lips. That moonlight illumination gets Harry’s heartbeat going.

“How could I forget?” Harry asks.

“Most people just do a combo present at best.” Louis shrugs.

“Oh no, the Christmas present comes tomorrow.” Harry says.

“Harold!” Louis pretends to be floored, “You’ve already done enough.”

“But if I didn’t do more, then I’d be just like every other schmuck who says Happy Birthmas and calls it a day.” Harry argues.

“That’s true, and it is what I love about you.” Louis agrees, blowing out another stream of smoke and ashing the cigarette butt into the tray.

Harry flat lines for just a moment. He’s not sure how they got into the habit of saying it in such a casual, friendly way. Harry just says he loves all his friends at one point or another, but the fact that Louis started saying it back is something else entirely. It certainly doesn’t feel as casual as when Harry says it to all his other favorite people. He suddenly wants to shout into the night, _I love you too!!!!_

“Just because I do nice things for you, that’s it?” He plays it cool instead.

“That is the only reason, so watch your back otherwise.” Louis smirks.

“Good to know, in case I want out someday.” Harry jokes right along with him.

*

Since everything green dies in the snow, Harry takes a break from working every day to plowing when it’s needed. This means that once the roads are clear, he has tons of extra time to spend with Cinna, and that she gets tons of time to play in the snow.

Despite how Harry feels about the New England winters, he’d follow her through a blizzard to see that little floppy tongued smile.

So, on one particular day he’s all bundled up in his layers; from a thermal undershirt to a cozy sweater, scarf, insulated jacket, fleece leggings under his thick sweatpants, complete with his beanie, earmuffs, snow boots, and gloves. He really hates the cold.

He tried to put a little hat and boots Cinna too, but the most he got out of that was a picture of her sitting on the welcome mat inside the house before she took off and lost them somewhere in the yard. At least she does still have her sweater to keep her warm, though.

He takes a multitude of action photos of her jumping through the snow and sends his favorites to Louis for the final judgements of which ones to post that day. They end up settling on one of her digging a hole that only shows her tail popping out through a sheet of white, and the next shot of her head peeking up with sprinkles of white caught in her fur and on her nose.

And when her fur is sufficiently wet with melted winter, Harry stands on the porch to call her to him.

She bounds through the snow that’s piled higher than her head and hops up onto the lowest step above the ocean of white.

She makes it almost to the top, and then her paw catches a patch of ice the wrong way and Harry’s heart drops to his knees faster than she can tumble all the way back down the staircase.

She whines when she slips, then yells and howls in pain from the snow pile at the bottom of the steps.

“Cinna!” Harry shouts, nearly tripping himself down the stairs after her.

“Oh my god, oh my god, I’m so sorry, my baby,” He’s just cooing all his panicked thoughts as he picks her up and she whimpers weakly in his arms. Her leg dangles in an awkward position, but touching it even gently causes her to growl and snap at him.

And she never bites, not even strangers or when she’s playing too rough, so Harry’s worry skyrockets as he gently scoops her into the car and takes off towards the vet.

*

Since she’s not bleeding or dying, she can’t be seen immediately without an appointment, so Harry ends up waiting for a while until they have an opening. He calls Louis at some point, with no answer, so he just ends up venting about the situation in the voicemail. He lets him know what happened, that Cinna’s calmed down and doesn’t seem to be in too much pain, but her leg is still wonky and they’re still waiting to be seen.

An hour passes with no word back, which is strange for him. They usually keep in touch throughout the day; in fact, his last message was about how cute Cinna was playing in the snow.

Eventually, Dr. Union appears to take her into the back for a closer examination, so Harry texts him an update that time.

It’s only maybe ten minutes later that the doctor brings her back, safe and sound, with still no word from Louis.

So the doctor passes her back into Harry’s arms as she explains that it’s just a minor sprain, but to watch her closely and make sure she stays off it as much as possible for a few days. She gives him some liquid antibiotics and instructions for her to take them with both breakfast and dinner. Harry thanks her and then, just like that, she’s off to tend to other patients while he pays at reception.

And just as Harry is about to maneuver around the furry weight in his arms to give Louis another call, the other father in question finally strolls through the sliding glass doors.

Harry hadn’t expected him to drive all the way from Providence in this weather, but it makes sense considering Harry would probably do the same.

What doesn’t make sense is the strange man who follows him inside, tall and blonde and remarkably well-dressed in his tight black pants and floral blouse.

“Hi, baby!” Louis’s face lights up as soon as he sees her, and she raises her head and wags her tail in a similar fashion.

“Oh, she’s absolutely adorable.” Blondie sports an all too familiar expression like his heart is melting, “How do you resist that face?”

“You don’t.” Louis says, cradling that very face between his hands, cooing as she licks her greeting all over his. “Oh, how are you my sweet girl? Are you okay? Did you miss me?”

Louis is smiling at her but not looking at Harry, and that’s when he notices that they’re both well dressed, actually. Louis is in black from head to toe, but his button up is tucked into his pants and secured with a belt and he’s even got his fancy shoes on, and something about that makes Harry swallow the lump forming in his throat.

Whoever this guy is, the two of them were obviously not just casually hanging out as friends.

“She’s fine.” Harry says, keeping a careful gaze on the stranger, “It’s just a sprain.The doctor gave her some antibiotics to help swelling and she’ll be back to normal in a week or so.”

“Best to let her rest it off.” Blondie says.

“Yeah, that’s what the vet said.” Harry retorts.

Maybe he’s just jumping to conclusions, but he’s also struggling to come up with any other reasons to put on your best slacks to go out with a good-looking man on a snowy evening.

And it’s not like Harry knows every single thing about Louis’s life, but he does know that Louis keeps his circle small and Harry’s never seen this guy before.

And it’s perfectly fine and understandable if Louis doesn’t want to date right now, but it’s a whole other thing if Louis just doesn’t want to date _Harry_.

Louis just says, “I’ll take over from here.”

“Um… okay?” Harry’s not sure what to make of his energy right now, but it’s certainly not friendly. “Everything alright?”

“It is now.” Louis says, “Give me my dog, please.”

Harry hands her over, her little head resting in the crook of Louis’s elbow. Her big round eyes meet Harry’s for a moment before slowly closing back into comfortable slumber.

“Our dog?” Harry asks.

Louis visibly clenches his teeth.

“I thought I could trust you to take care of her.” He says, making Harry instantly cave in on himself. His stomach churns, like the lump he just swallowed has made its way to his digestive system.

Objectively it was his fault, really, because it _is_ his responsibility to look after her and he didn’t even consider that the ice could trip her up. He wasn’t fast enough to stop her from tripping, wasn’t quick enough to catch her tiny body as it tumbled down the frozen staircase to the front door.

But something like that could’ve easily happened while Louis was watching her, and it’s not like any serious injuries came from it. She’s going to be fine. Should one little lapse in judgement negate all the other ways he’s managed to take care of her? And how dare Louis just jump right to the implied threat of taking Harry’s parental rights away, just because of one minor accident.

Louis doesn’t even seem to realize how low of a blow that was, now busy focusing all his attention on petting Cinna, soothing her with little coos of love.

“Yeah, I thought I could trust you too.” Harry is suddenly seeing red. He doesn’t even recognize the person in front of him right now. His Louis is soft and kind and genuine. This Louis is a cold, callous, fraud.

Harry pushes past the two of them, suddenly wondering why he’s even bothered waiting around for so long. Cinna already knows he loves her, but it seems like no matter how hard he tries, Louis is still unwilling to see the same thing. So maybe Harry should just stop trying.

He tries hard to focus on his anger, but the utter disappointment overrules. He thought he was okay with being nothing more than friends, but it took seeing Louis with somebody else’s to realize how high his hopes were that Louis would eventually meet Harry where he’s at.

But Louis never really responds to Harry’s less than subtle flirtations, and now he’s dating other people despite telling Harry that he wasn’t ready for a new relationship, and it’s beginning to cement into reality how naive of him it was to think that this was ever going anywhere beyond the friend zone.

By the time he makes it home, he just wants to settle into his pajamas and bury himself under the covers of the bed that’s physically incapable of ever letting him down.

He puts on Grey’s Anatomy because nothing else could possibly match the drama storm brewing inside him, and maybe he just needs to cry about how cruel and unfair the world can be sometimes.

It’s a few episodes later when, under the dark cover of midnight, there’s a knock at his front door.

He so rarely has company besides one person, let alone in the middle of the night, so he’s kind of hesitant to answer for fear it could be some crazy murderer checking to see if any victims are home, but he quickly realizes how ridiculous the idea of a killer taking the time to courteously knock before entering is.

Still, he peeks through the fisheye view in the door and is only marginally relieved to see Louis standing on his doorstep. His boots are covered in snow, and when Harry opens the door he finds that at least a few more inches have accumulated while he was holed up in bed. Louis is all bundled up in his coat, beanie nestled snugly over his fringe, and his glow puts the whole cover of white to shame.

Cinna’s tail wags and she leans forward towards Harry, always just so happy to see either one of them. His heart aches, wishing they could go back to earlier today, before he knew Louis was dating again and before realizing that despite all his efforts, he’ll never really be a part of their tiny family unit.

“Hey,” Louis says, stomping the snow off his boots and onto the mat. “The roads are really bad. Can we stay here tonight?”

“Your new boyfriend doesn’t have room for you?” Harry quips.

Louis rolls his eyes, brushing by Harry on the way inside and to the couch. He lays Cinna down and tells her to stay, giving her a shark-shaped chew toy to keep her occupied.

“He’s not my boyfriend, Haz. I’d rather be somewhere comfortable.” He says, leaning over to undo the ties on his boots. “So would she.”

“Are you sure I can be trusted to take care of you guys?” Harry snaps again, now summoning the anger that’s been ignited all over again by Louis just waltzing his way inside like he owns the place. If it weren’t for Cinna needing her rest, Harry would’ve blocked the doorway altogether.

“Fair enough.” Louis nods, “That was messed up of me to say, and I’m genuinely sorry. I was just frustrated that I couldn’t be there for her.”

“You were there for her, Lou, as soon as you could be. And in the meantime, I was there, and she was fine with that.” Harry reminds him.

“I know, I know. You’re a great father to her.” Louis admits, “And that could’ve happened while either of us was watching her.”

“How do you manage to be so rational and yet so completely dense at the same time?” Harry leans against the doorway now, still letting the winter sting of the night air provide some minor sense of relief from the rage boiling within him.

“What?” Louis half-chuckles, because clearly this is all some kind of joke to him. He looks over his shoulder and the back of the couch to meet Harry’s eyes, dumbfounded.

“Are you serious?” Harry asks, trying to keep his voice level for fear of saying something he’ll end up regretting.

“About?” Louis plays dumb.

“The fucking arm candy you brought along tonight, obviously.” Harry says.

“Are we serious?” Louis raises a brow, “Not at all, but we were out when you called and he wanted to tag along.”

“You told me you weren’t ready to be with somebody.” Harry spells it out for him, “And this is how I find out you’re apparently dating again?”

He so clearly just doesn’t want to be with Harry. It seems like the most obvious thing ever all of a sudden. All the dodged advances, the excuses, the mistake of a Halloween kiss that was never addressed. Harry knows better, but he stupidly fell for the ultimate line of the century anyway. It’s his own fault for believing that Louis was any different.

Louis stands up and crosses his arms over his chest, laughing, this time in a hostile, mocking tone.

“Like I’m supposed to share every detail of my personal life with you or something?”

“You don’t seem to keep anything else from me, so why this?” Harry wonders.

“I wasn’t keeping anything from you!” Louis gets defensive, “It was a first date and I planned to tell you how it went afterwards, but now I’m wondering if maybe I should avoid involving you with this stuff altogether.”

“Why, because I’m _so annoyingly_ in love with you?” Harry asks, a challenge in his voice. May as well just put it all out there at this point. His body is acting in overdrive, anger and adrenaline fueled.

“No, because you can’t control it.” Louis says, softening somehow in contrast to his hardened gaze. “I shouldn’t have to keep reminding you that—

“We’re better off as friends.” Harry finishes along with him, driving the dagger into his own heart this time.

“Come on, Haz.” Louis sighs, “Can we not make this into a thing? I don’t want to do this with you.”

“Do what, exactly?”

“This!” Louis makes an ambiguous gesture to the open space between them. “The complications. This is exactly what I’m trying to avoid. You’re one of my best friends and I’d just really love to keep it that way.”

“Oh, spare me with the fucking complications card.” Harry crosses his arms. “Whatever this is between us is completely different from anything else you’ve been through. I’m not your exes, Louis. I’m Harry. I’m a different person.”

“Fuck you.” Louis says, gritting his teeth.

“No, fuck you!” Harry shouts, “My feelings matter, too!”

“We’re not even together, Harry. There’s a reason for that.” Louis’s eyes have darkened all of a sudden.

“No, there isn’t.” Harry argues, “Exactly how much of your life do you plan to spend running from your feelings, hm?”

“You’re very close to crossing a line here, Harry.” Louis warns, but honestly Harry’s beyond caring at this point. There’s so much he’s held back throughout the course of their friendship and it’s all just erupting at once now.

“So dump me then.” Harry challenges. “Leave me and block me from your life like all the others, if that’s what you really want.”

“That’s not what I want.” Louis says.

“Then tell me what you do want.” Harry says.

He waits.

Louis doesn’t say anything. He’s just staring into Harry’s eyes, looking like he’d rather start a physical fight than just talk about his feelings.

“Do you want me, Louis?” Harry asks, bolder this time, “Forget all your fears for just a second and give me an honest answer. In a perfect world, would you want to be with me? Or do you kiss all your friends like that?”

“I don’t kiss my friends.” He admits.

“Then why me?” Harry’s heart is pounding against his rib cage now.

“I don’t know, Harry. I just wanted to.” Louis shrugs.

“Why did you want to?” Harry pushes.

“I don’t know!” Louis shouts.

Harry sighs. Deep and long, staring Louis down from across the threshold. When they became close Harry had begun to believe that the guy he’s spent so much of his life longing for was finally within reach, but maybe he was wrong about that all along. Maybe they were never meant to be, maybe Louis won’t ever be ready, maybe he doesn’t even want to try, and maybe Harry just has to learn how to accept that.

“Just tell me you’re not interested so I can move on then.” Harry finally says.

“But that’s not true.” Louis says.

“It is!” Harry feels himself becoming frantic now, trying to come to terms with his realization. Angry at Louis for leading him on, but most of all himself for falling for it. “It clearly is, because if you felt even a fraction of what I do when I look at you, you wouldn’t be coming up with all these excuses to keep me away.”

“It’s not though!” Louis shouts back. “I’m not messing with you, Harry! I can’t date you because I’m legitimately terrified of losing you! I don’t have have a fucking clue what I would do without you!”

Harry’s shaking his head, not letting himself buy it.

“Those other guys, my exes, this dude I went on one date with, I always knew I could live without them.” Louis explains, “It might have hurt to lose some of them, but I never felt like I’d be completely lost if they weren’t around. I knew that life would go on, there would eventually be another guy, and that I would be okay someday.”

Harry allows him to continue, but it all just sounds like another drawn out excuse.

“With you it’s like… it’s like, what would even I do with myself if I didn’t get to see your fucking stupid smile every day? If I didn’t get to make you laugh, if you weren’t there to talk me through shit, and help me feel like the world might not be such a raging shit hole after all?” Louis gulps, “If Cinna didn’t have you… if we had to sit around the house like a couple of sad sacks just missing our Harry on nights like this?”

“You’d be fine without me too.” Harry says, but he’s weakening again. Louis called him _our Harry_, like he knows exactly which strings to pull and it’s fucking working.

“I don’t just want you, Harry. I need you, and it’s disgusting.” Louis says, looking him directly in the eyes. “I need you so much that I’ll just take what I know I can handle.”

“Then just let me love you, Louis!” Harry shouts now, throwing his arms in the air, running his hands through his hair, yanking it at the roots. This man literally drives him crazy, and yet for some reason, Harry’s begging to be pushed all the way into the asylum. “Jesus, Lou! Let me fucking love you!”

Louis recoils, blinking in surprise, but Harry’s not sure why that would come as a shock to him. He hasn’t exactly been subtle about it. He just blurted it out loud merely moments ago.

“What exactly are you so afraid of?” Harry asks, calmer now. “That I’m gonna cheat on you? Or reject you, or god forbid stalk you someday?”

Louis visibly swallows.

“I’m not saying it’s irrational, Lou, you’ve been through a lot.” Harry babbles on, “But it is both irrational and completely infuriating to let it consume you to the point you’d try to push me away before I can even think about running.”

“What if it’s not even you who ruins it?” Louis asks, soft, eyes wide and sheepish like Harry’s never seen before. “What if it’s myself I’m afraid of?”

“What if I’m not?” Harry asks, “Did you ever think to include me in this decision, too? Did you ever think that maybe _I_ can handle _you_? That things could be different with me?”

Louis doesn’t say anything, but pulls his lips together into a tight line.

“I love you, and our dog, and our life together. Because we do already have a life together. This is it, we’re in it now, and it’s working just fine.” Harry says. “I’d argue it’s better than fine, really. We’re happy.”

Louis just stares him down, jaw clenched, letting Harry pour his whole heart out too.

“I’ve been mesmerized by you since the first moment we met, way before the wedding, and the closer I get to you the more I want to stay.” Harry keeps on, not even sure where he’s going with it anymore, just trying to find the magic words that will make Louis see what he sees, “I’m not going anywhere, I promise. So just fucking let go. Give me a chance to show you I’m—

Louis lunges forward, grabbing Harry’s face between his hands and mashing their lips together. Harry’s eyes widen in surprise, but he doesn’t hesitate to kiss back, mirroring Louis with his hands cradling high cheekbones, moving to the back of his head, one following the line of his spine down to the curve of his back, pulling him closer. He knows it’s not possible to completely melt your body into another person’s, but he presses their shapes together like with enough determination he can will it to happen.

Louis’s hands find Harry’s hair, mouths open to let tongues meet and heartbeats manage to synch in their speed. It’s six years worth of starry eyes and the empty ache of his pining heart that fuel the moment, and it’s as if all the blood in his body has turned to molten lava as it shifts through his veins, changing the land in his world into something new and full of promise.

Harry slams the door shut and forces him against the nearest wall, moving his lips to Louis’s scruffy jaw, tracing the skin of his neck down to his collarbones and back up, kissing and nibbling every inch of bare skin he can reach. Louis’s breaths are heavy as he lifts his shirt over his head to give Harry more room.

Harry can hardly breathe himself, returns for more lips and tongues, running his hands all over Louis’s bare chest, soft and smooth beneath his fingertips. The hardness pressed against his own has him throbbing through his jeans, so thank God Louis has the brilliant idea to reach down and undo the button, the zipper, wrap a hand around his length. He just holds it, tugging lightly as he frees himself too, and then brings the same hand up to Harry’s mouth to wet his fingers.

It’s all tongues and slobber. Harry looks him in the eyes as he sucks and spits, and Louis’s mouth is hung slightly open, panting softly as he watches in a trance, the wide blue framed with pretty lashes sinful in their solid gaze.

When Louis pulls his hand away again, Harry’s only vaguely aware of the movement below their connected waists, mostly focused on the twitch of their cocks against each other’s and the messy, desperate kisses he can’t get enough of.

Louis turns himself around, chest pressed to the wall and he’s fully naked all of a sudden, and it happens so quick Harry barely has time to adjust, but Louis has a hand around his cock and he’s guiding Harry to his bum, and Harry has to squeeze his eyes shut in his focus not to cum as soon as his tip is pressed tight inside.

He keeps kissing; the back of Louis’s hair, down his neck, and across his shoulders now, as the two of them work together to get Harry fully bottomed out. Louis moans, softly at first and then amplifying with each inch that Harry presses deeper.

Harry rests the top of his head on the wall above Louis’s ear, palms pressed on either side of the torso beneath him, breathing heavy as he looks down at the swell of himself buried inside.

He can’t exactly control the way his body chases its thirst, wasting no time as he pulls all the way out and then pushes back in with full, slow, and thorough motions. Louis’s body rocks along with him, the low moans escaping through lips pressed tight together like he’s still trying to hold back.

“Let go, Louis.” Harry whispers, voice drawling and raspy as he moves a hand under Louis’s chin, gently tilting his head up for their eyes to find each other’s. It’s a soft moment in contrast to Harry’s steady thrusting inside him.

“You're doing so good. Let it out.”

Louis grunts on the next thrust, looking up from under his lashes, through the locks of mussed hair that’s just long enough to stick to his forehead. If Harry were an artist, that simple snapshot in his brain would be enough muse to create till the day he physically couldn’t anymore.

The whole ordeal is quick and dirty, both of them so repressed that they’re just rushing to devour every moment. Harry is panting against his forehead, savoring the squeeze of Louis around him and the sweat of skin against him and the eyes rolled back beneath him. Louis is moaning, grunting, sighing, skipping breaths and everything with each push, fueling Harry to move faster and harder, till Louis is praying Harry’s name and coming on the wall.

“Don’t stop,” He says, nearly begs, but just the idea of Louis wanting his limp, euphoric body to be used to Harry’s content is enough to make him finish right there on the spot, crying out as he pushes himself flush to Louis’s skin and empties himself inside.

They stay like that until their breathing returns to normal.

“So that’s the love making you were referring to?” Louis asks through a soft chuckle.

“That was fucking.” Harry confirms, “Maybe love fucking? There was definitely love in there somewhere.”

Louis’s soft laugh slowly crescendos into something loopy and uncontrollable.

“I came on the wall.” He giggles, completely blissed out as he pulls off of Harry’s cock to sit on the floor.

“It’s art.” Harry says, collapsing his limbs next to Louis.

“It’s disgusting.” Louis keeps laughing.

“Looks like a giraffe to me.” Harry says, pouting at the edges of the elongated shape. “Here’s the head, the neck, body, and legs. One’s longer than the other, but if you squint at it the right way…”

“Shut up!” Louis is still smiling as he smacks Harry’s bicep. “You are ridiculous.”

“You love me.” Harry grins, heart bursting inside his chest.

Louis’s toothy grin softens into a closed-mouth smile that crinkles his face up the way Harry loves.

“Yeah, I really do.” He agrees, fully setting off the fireworks in Harry’s heart.

**SPRING - 2022**

*L

“Z, I’m kinda freaking out.” Louis says, straightening his tie in front of the mirror in the dressing room.

“You’ve been doing that since the moment you and Harry met.” Zayn chuckles.

“Seriously, dude, it’s real this time.” Louis turns to him.

“No it’s not.” Zayn doesn’t move a muscle from where he’s comfortably lounging, laid out across the armchair, probably wrinkling his tux. “You always work yourself into a frenzy over nothing. You’ll calm down in a few minutes, once you realize how excited you are to spend the rest of your life with your best friend.”

“You’re the worst Best Man ever.” Louis pouts. “The Worst Man.”

Zayn rolls his eyes.

“Well you already stole the Best Best Man award at my wedding, so what’s the point in trying for it now?” He jokes, finally heaving himself up to stand in front of Louis.

He rests a hand on each shoulder and looks down at him, woodsy eyes full of reassurance.

“You and Harry are perfect together.”

Louis nods. Harry is always there when Louis needs him, especially now that they live together. After long days at work, Harry soothes him with wine and and foot rubs. He both cooks for Louis and taught him how to cook, he listens to Louis’s dramatic rants and stands his ground when Louis is acting stubborn. He pushes Louis when he needs it and grounds him when he doesn’t.

Plus, he takes Cinna to all her vet and grooming appointments, sends daily updates when he’s away, brings her random gifts as much as he does for Louis, and if all of that isn’t love and commitment in its purest form, then Louis isn’t interested.

“Nobody’s perfect.” Louis grumbles, knowing Zayn is right anyway.

“Normally I’d agree, but I think Z’s right on this one.” Niall re-enters the room with the brooch he went to fetch for Louis’s tux. “Harry’s not sweating even a bit. He’s a ball of smiles and joy right now. Kinda creepy.”

“Really?” Louis asks, and Zayn steps aside to let Niall pin the flower arrangement on his chest.

“Says he’s been waiting for this day ever since he first saw you.” Niall confirms.

“He’s such a sap.” Louis sucks his teeth, but can’t fight the grin that stretches his lips.

*

The ceremony is a simple, outdoor thing for only their closest friends and family to attend. The Paynes offered up the expansive backyard of their colonial home as the venue, and Liam got to go nuts setting up the seats, the arch, and stringing flowers and chiffon all over everything he deemed appropriate. He said it was basically like having a second wedding, promised he’d make everything perfect for them, and he delivered.

Harry had insisted on wearing a blue Gucci floral suit to compliment the subtle forest green number he forced Louis into, and he looks like physical embodiment of happiness as he grins his way down the aisle. Watching him all shiny eyed and barely able to keep his smile off his face is absolutely everything Louis needs to feel like all the shit he went through with the others was just preparing him for the amount of gratitude that overflows his heart today.

They agreed on all the details together, or so Louis thought. But after their vows are said and the crowd already sufficiently teary eyed, the officiant summons the ring bearer and Harry’s smile morphs into that big dimpled grin of his as he squats to his knees.

“Cinna! Come here, girl!” He calls their dog and she comes bounding up to the altar with a small pouch attached to her floral collar. Ears bouncing, tongue flopping the whole way. Some of their audience start _awwing_ as she leaps by them to reach her fathers.

“Harry,” Louis Just laughs, looking down at the both of them, his sweet little child panting happily up at him as her tail wags with glee, and Harry all toothy and glowing as he retrieves the rings.

“Louis,” He says, holding his palm out for Louis to place his hand in.

He’s sure that they said their I do’s, but the single moment he ends up hanging onto forever is when they finally go in for the kiss and the gathering of their loved ones erupts in applause. Cinna may not have understood exactly what the significance was, but the press of her paws on his knees as she jumped up to reach them in an expression of her mirroring joy was truly the perfect touch to last a lifetime.

**Author's Note:**

> The end~ 
> 
> Always love and appreciate your comments and kudos, but even the simple gift of your time means the world to me as well.
> 
> Made [rebloggable](https://princesshalo.tumblr.com/post/616866794179821568/you-are-my-familiar-by-me-princesshaloso-what) for your convenience.
> 
> Thank you all for reading!! :) x


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